Aspects of B.D.S.M.

Exhibitionism

This is something that I find very erotic and powerfully sexual. The thought of being naked on a balcony, leaning on the rail while S. fucks me silly is a big fantasy. The thought someone might see drives me crazy and we would continue with the scene not caring who may see, makes me so excited I can barely breathe. Unfortunately, our home doesn’t have a balcony. When we travel, I hope we are in a hotel, up from ground level and it has a balcony. I am not game enough to do it on the ground floor…

Continue reading…..

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

The Predator And The Prey

I have read an excellent post on Forbidden Writings about being primal / prey and it prompted me to write some more on the subject. I have mentioned before that S. and I both enjoy being this way in our BDSM dynamics. It is something that has always been inside me but I have only ever been able to talk to S. about it…

Continue reading

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Piercings

This is a subject close to my heart because before my cancer I had quite a few myself. They all had to be removed because of the radiology treatments and if I got an infection it would be hard to fight it. I would not have liked to have lost a nipple because my piercing got infected, not to mention my clitoris…

Continue reading

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Libido

Does libido have a place in the D/s M/s dynamic?

This is such a large question and it depends on your own ideas about this. What I am about to share is simply my own ideas and circumstances. I guess I am writing about this so you can consider your own concept of the word and what works for you…

Continue reading

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Rules

I was at a loss as to what to talk about here in the blog and after a talk with S. we now have several ideas. This was the first part of the ideas.

We wanted to talk about rules but from a different direction than before. I wrote a piece called ‘Guidelines’ before and you can read that post too if you are interested. In it I said that we had guidelines rather than intractable rules. I have changed my mind and I want to speak of rules now…

Continue reading….

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Communication

I have spoken about this subject often and it is very important to S. and myself. Recently though we were going through a bit of a rough time. There was distance between us and we were floundering. Neither of us understood why. Sex was great, we still laughed but there was this gnawing inside us both. I was trying hard to reach him and he was in a bad space too. There was so much love so what was going wrong?…

Continue reading…..

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Love and Need

I read a really interesting blog post about the lifestyle but, one thing really leapt out at me. They tried to say vanilla sex was a product of love and BDSM was a product of need. It really just would not fit comfortably in my head.

Continue reading…..

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Tattoos

Tattoos are things that you either love or hate, there seems to be no in between. Both S. and I love them. At the moment I have just the one of roses, with stems and leaves with a ribbon intertwined. It needs to be touched up as it has faded but I haven’t got around to it yet. It has become a popular thing to do. I learn the fact that even Queen Victoria of England even had tattoos and she was renown for being very straight laced.…

Continue reading

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Foreplay

A great number of (Twue) Dominants believe that all they have to do is say, ‘take your panties off I am going to fuck you’ and that is all they think they need to say as foreplay. There are times that will happen and you might enjoy that, as I do. What about the rest of the time?

Continue reading…..

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Meta Talk

I don’t think I have ever read a blog post about resolving issues within the lifestyle. I am concerned that some submissives might not speak up because they feel they do not have the power to stand up for themselves….

Continue reading…..

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Shadows

As everyone here has read that I share a very intense relationship with S. There have been things I have not shared because I have no wish to make S. sound like a brute. He is absolutely not. He is soft and gentle and very loving. This type of thing could be judged as abuse if you simply look at the surface. However, before I go into it I want to make sure you understand something.

Continue reading…..

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Rope

Rope bondage is not defined by the weight or shape of the submissive but on the skill of the rigger. Even suspension is possible for all subs as long as they are not carrying injuries which might limit options.

Continue reading….

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Waiting

Waiting can be one of the most underrated things in a Dominant’s repertoire. Most often you both can’t wait to get your hands on each other. The Dominant can take the submissive into a session with delayed orgasms but that isn’t the kind of waiting I mean.

Continue reading….

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

A Dominant Woman

Ideas of a Dominant woman is something so alien to me because, well simply because I find it hard to think in that way, yet I follow a few Dominant women on WordPress and I find their blogs to be really interesting. A small part of me likes a hint of Domination when I switch but I never take S. in deep as I would be ultra uncomfortable.

Continue reading….

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

With Age Comes…

There is no use by date on a woman. She can be just as exciting and deeply sexual as she was in the spring of her life. In fact there is much more depth to her physical and sexual desires.

Continue reading….

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Sexuality

I read a post the other day about sexuality and it was about polyamory. It was so well written and it got me thinking about my own sexuality. My journey through the blog has been an illuminating one. It has stimulated so many questions in my mind and has even begun to give me answers.

Continue reading

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Take Me

There is a certain activity that great lovers have a problem doing with their partners, not just in the vanilla world but also in the lifestyle. Good lovers tend to consider their partners needs before they take their own and normally that is just how we bottoms love it. I have a man that is wonderful and considerate as my lover and he gives me pleasure until I am sated, then he allows himself the freedom to pursue his own satisfaction. Please don’t think I am complaining about this because I’m not. It is wonderful and such a pure pleasure.

Continue reading….

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Morality Within the Lifestyle

Morality was a thing in short supply in my early life. My family were not what you might call religious in any way so I was forced to discover my own sense of morals and I think I did pretty well. Nan helped a lot too.

Continue reading….

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

A Bit of a Correction

All through this blog you might notice my comments concerning a Master and slave relationship. My experiences were not the best but that does not mean that type of relationship is always bad. I know of a few people that are in a perfectly happy M/s dynamic. One I know is Dayliacatt on Fetcetera. She is blissfully happy with her Master.

Continue reading….

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Aftercare

This is an important subject because the moment directly after a scene you will find a time when you are in each others arms, sated, breathless and worn out. This is the one time you get for feed back, an opportunity to take care of each other. It is the afterglow and a good time to talk about how you enjoyed yourself and to make sure your partner knows it was incredible.

Continue reading

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Punishment vs Discipline

This is a lesson my Sir taught me and it is an important one. There is a massive difference between Punishment and Discipline. If you do something wrong and your Dominant picks it up then expect discipline or punishment…

Continue reading

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Sub Space

Subspace is a state of mind associated with BDSM

It is described as floating or feeling detached. A submissive can enter into subspace as a result of the sensations they get from their Dominant…

Continue reading…

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Expectations and Perfection

Expectations can be a killer of relationships. The pressure of expectations can cause genuine stress and pressure on both a Top and a bottom. With a submissive, a Dom with very high expectations places a huge weight on their partners. Your partner will forgo their own desires simply to try and meet all of yours.

Continue reading

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Protocol

If you find yourself in an event or if you mix with people within the dynamic of BDSM there will be protocols for you to follow. I am not one for rules as you may notice and when I am out in any of those places I will act the way S. wants me to. His rules are easy.

Continue reading

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Kneeling

There are some kinds of Tops that like the formality of their bottoms kneeling in certain poses to accent their submission and they like them to learn them all. There are many ways to kneel and also to lay. They also each have a name. It is also possible to train your bottom to recognize hand gestures for each pose. I have no problem with people that enjoy that kind of formal conditioning and often they look very beautiful. There are, however, two reason I can’t go along with it.

Continue reading

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Not Always The Same

I want to write this in a way that does not put down the nature of this post at all, and I will put it in the deeply sexual nature of what happened to me tonight. More over it was with my Alpha Male, my wonderful S. and it is not a lone experience. 

Continue reading

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Strip it down

This has nothing to do with taking your clothes off. More to do with your mind which can fill you with fear, guilt, and lack of confidence. This is about before you take your clothes off.

Continue reading ….

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Body Image

Body image is a thing that we all have, yet it isn’t talked about as much as it should. Ask anyone what part of their body they love they will usually um and ah about it. Ask a person what they hate about their body they will answer quickly and also have a list.

Continue reading….

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Touch

One of the most important senses that I cherish is touch. If I have not been touched for a while my skin hungers for it. This can happen is you are either alone or alone for a few days. I yearn for it. Kissing is a touch of lips than leave me breathless. It also affects my body as much as my love of it. The feel of your partners arms around you. It can also be as small as a stroke on my cheek with one finger will have me leaning into the contact.

Continue reading….

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Outed

I was reading a post on my news feed today about Gay People who have come ‘Out of the Closet’ and some that were outed in different ways. It then had me thinking about something I read on Fetlife. There is a furore going on about someone that had been outed (someone making the real name and address of another person. Normally done maliciously.)

Continue reading….

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Needs and Wants

I am going to delve into my brain here and that can be messy. First I will talk about me as that is the easy bit. This is about what expectations or needs and wants I have from my relationship with S. With needs I don’t have things like I need to be spanked once a week. I mean I love it but it is not what I am talking about. My needs run deeper than that. I need to have respect from S. which I get. I need to have trust. I need to feel cherished and to feel safe.

Continue reading

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

On Reaching an Impasse

Sometimes couples reach an impasse in their relationship and it can cause friction. I can only describe how S. and I deal with them so if you can gain anything from this I hope it helps you if you have this crop in your own relationship. It doesn’t always have to about sex either but in your real life and all that encompasses.

Continue reading….

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Safety before Kinks

I have spoken with Sir about this page and I had to think carefully about the kinds of kinks we discuss in here. There are some that I find difficult to speak of, not because they are nasty or bad or shameful. If it is between two consenting adults it is fine but they must research it carefully. However, somethings can alter the body in ways not expected.

Continue reading...

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

New Listed Tools

I guess what I should say here perhaps this could be the tool box of a Top/bottom relationship. As promised it has grown.

Continue reading…

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Respect and Trust

Respect is one of my favourite words. I like the way it flows over the tongue and what it means. It is a word at the forefront of S. and my life. It comes way before BDSM, and is a foundation on which we base life on. Right from the first time we talk it was in every word we spoke to each other.

Continue reading….

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

A Very Good TV show

I watched a TV show out of the E! Channel about BDSM. It was called the real 50 Shades. As my daughter (18years) was watching too I tried to change the channel quickly before she saw what it was. My eagle-eyed daughter she said ‘change it back I wanted to watch this.’ She has no idea about my alternative personal life and I didn’t want any questions but I could not turn it over if she wanted to see it.

Continue reading….

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

How to Set Guidelines 

A lot of lifestyle relationships has a list of guidelines set for the bottom and also for Tops. I say a guidelines because to me they are guidelines not intractable rules. I don’t like something that restricts me from being me. I don’t mind sharing a few things that I have but I won’t publish all of the guidelines as they are deeply personal. What I will do is offer a few suggestions that might make your own lists.

Continue reading….

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Why We Don’t Need Labels

One of my pet peeves at the moment is labels I was thinking about it last night and then it came to me, what other kinds of people could be labelled as we are in the kink lifestyle. Well…. Let’s take a look at the Vanillas of the world.

Continue reading….

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

The Pleasure of Pain

This is a post about applied pain that brings pleasure to a bottom… Pardon the pun. * evil wink * Read it while keeping in mind your own Limits. It is a place to experiment with your partner but you must never be forced or coerced into it. Not liking pain does not mean you are a bad bottom.

Continue reading

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Measuring Pain Levels

So for all you bottoms out there that enjoy some discomfort with your sexual scenes, this is about  how to work out your pain levels. This is a very important thing to do well.

Continue reading…..

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Time to talk Tops

Most of the posts I write in here are slanted towards the submissive but I want to dedicate this page just to the Tops.

Continue reading…

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Psychological Mind Fucks

This is a good thing, not in anyway to start putting you in a place of emotional turmoil. So bear with me and read on. In BDSM a ‘mind fuck’ means a suggestion that will evoke a response from you, usually sexual in nature. Your mind will receive the words then your thoughts will run with them.

Continue reading…

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Balance

This is a more difficult subject to quantify but I will do my best without ballsing it up, I hope. The one of the biggest things that is not spoken about often, is finding the balance you need in your lives. Not so much your day to day lives but your kinky life.

Continue reading…

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Dominance

Everyone has their own idea of what a Dominant is and normally they get it all wrong and mix up stereotypical images for the true meaning of it. When I first talked to my darling S. I was looking for a Master like my first one, which is pretty sad if you have read anything about him.

Continue reading…

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Safe Words and Gestures

I know I have spoken about safety protocols in previous posts but I want to have a post just about safe words and gestures as I think they are some of the most important things in any BDSM. relationships.

Continue reading…

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Bondage

As a child I would play cowboys and Indians with my friends and I was always the girl that was kidnapped and tied to the tree. No one rescued me and sometimes the little beasts would forget to untie me.

Continue reading…

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Limits

To me Limits should be discussed before the relationship begins but there is a way that a limit can happen even if you have been together for years. That is if you try something new and you don’t enjoy it. Then it can become a hard or a soft limit.

Continue reading…

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Beauty vs Ugly

I will start this post off with some positive words but bear in mind a rant is coming. The beauty of a woman can be in her face, her skin, her shape, her body even her hair. She might have a beautiful smile or have a kindness she shows the world. She may write beautiful words or have lovely pictures of herself on her blog. However, to me true beauty comes from her heart, soul and mind. The same is true of men too.

Continue reading…

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Letting Go… Submission

Have you ever stood on the very end of a high diving board and felt really scared but then you get the courage to dive off and for those scant seconds it feels like you are flying.

Continue reading…

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Masochism

Masochism is the enjoyment of things like pain and humiliation. If your kink leans this way do not feel ‘bad’ about it as the world is full of people that share your desire. As long as your welfare is the key thing in the experience then explore it.

Continue reading…

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Primal Predator/Prey

Am I alone in having a moment that is wild, uninhibited and out of control, a moment that is like a touch light to send up some blazing fireworks inside your body? It can hit at any time and anywhere.

Continue reading…

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Me and my Shadows

All too often people with blogs like this, show different things in BDSM, information concerning each aspect of the lifestyle, and even post funny stories just as I have. They project such calm acceptance and happiness, oh happy happy joy joy. A veritable picture of sunshine and happiness.

Continue reading…

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.