Category: Journal Entry

I’m Sorry

I would like to apologize to all of my readers receiving blank posts in your email. I have been categorizing my navigation bar by inserting a named category not realizing it was sending out to you. Please excuse if any more come out to you. Just delete them please. Thank you for your patience and Thank you Nijntje for bringing it to our attention. … Read More I’m Sorry

Journal Entries


Who am I?

I read an interesting blog post on Southern Sir’s Place asking the question ‘How “real” is your online persona? and it had me really thinking hard about it.



I have walked a long and winding road on my journey through the world of BDSM to find what feels best for me and my beloved S. I was very fortunate to find a man that has the same sort of ideas as I do which makes things a great deal easier. On my journey I read lots of things that really didn’t do anything for me sexually and I used to think how could people like doing this sort of stuff? JUDGEMENTAL


The Little Golden Chest

I have a secret place deep inside me, that rarely sees the light of day. Inside it are all of my secret things, my darker fantasies, my secret desires, my dreams and ambitions. I have collected them and placed them so carefully inside the ornate chest inside my mind. It is locked and covered with other things to make sure no one can find it.


Why can’t I say I’m pretty?

I think this is another post about body image or is it? Why is it so difficult to say positive things about ourselves? I can look in a mirror and at best I can think, ‘Yeah, I’m not bad.’ I look at my body and think ‘I guess it is ok.’


Tears On My Cheeks

Tears are strange things. I mean yes crying can come from a place of pain or sadness but I am talking about the tears on my cheeks in a scene.


A Little More Information

Well I thought I would keep you up to date about my darling S. We saw the specialist in the State University and she is sort of the top of her game. S’s. Gastro specialist sent him there.


What can I do?

Have you ever felt completely helpless and no I am not saying tied up and in some bondage scene? I am talking about when a person you love is ill. I’m in the situation where I have to watch my beloved S. going through a lot of pain. He never grumbles or gives in to pain. I ask how he is and he says okish. Okish means he is in pain and I have to stop myself hovering over him because hates it.



When I was young, I used to feel the need for constant approval. I believe it was because I had such a terrible home life. I used to do a chore with all the excellence I could muster, hoping for a positive comment, a hug, even a smile. There was nothing forthcoming.


Real Life vs Blog World

I apologise for not posting much recently but real life has got in the way. One of the biggest thing that has been taking up so much time is physical therapy. After chemo I was left thin and weak. I had to start a weight gaining diet and because of my diabetes I couldn’t do all the fun things. I had to eat healthily.


Writing a Book

I am considering writing a fictional erotic book while putting all of the things concerned with consent, safe words and limits all included. I want to make sure there is a book that is a true reflection of the BDSM lifestyle on the market. I know I have written short stories and longer pieces in segments so you will know my writing style for erotica. I am going to include with this post a short example of part of the book. This is their first BDSM sex scene.

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