I said in a previous post about putting more funny things in the blog to make it more fun so I thought I would write a piece on comparing stereotypical lifestyle dynamics versus real life. Please remember this is funny but has a pretty serious tone to it.

 

It is said: A perfect submissive will kneel before her Dominant/Master and be passive, silent and obedient.

Ouch my knees hurt and how long are you expecting me to remain on my knees? Can I put four pillows under them? Can I just crouch down instead? Ouch no that still hurts. There is a little stool over there, can I use that? No? That isn’t submissive enough? Hmm I will have to think about this one more.

It is said: A perfect submissive will accept any of her Dominant/Master orders.

What? Everything? Even if you want to pee on me? Can I wear a rain coat and a rain hat? Do I have to clean it up afterwards? What about needles? I think if you want to be turned on by needles you are better equipped to stick them in yourself.

It is said: Every good submissive should enjoy pain and be aroused by it so much she orgasms as her skin is flailed.

Okay, like with a real whip? One you would use on farm animals? And what if, when you got close to me, I kicked you in the goolies? Would that be ok? And needles? Once again in yourself. 

It is said: Every good submissive must be able to swallow even the biggest cock. If she chokes and gags, all the better. Her mouth and throat are just another sex organ to be used.

Right you are trying to tell me that twelve inch weapon you carry in your pants is going to be right down my throat? If you were averaged size I would do my best but that thing? When am I supposed to breathe? Oh you will pull out when I pass out then slap my face to bring me back. That is so very kind of you.

It is said: A good submissive will hand all control over herself to her Dominant/Master.

Will you make a shopping list for me to take to the grocery store? Will you calculate the price of each item and forbid me to go over? Will you tell me when I can scratch an itch? Will you forbid me to have an itch? Will you supervise me when I do my hair and get dressed? Will you expect me to lay naked in front of the front door and say I must stay there waiting for you all day? Will you tell me when I can have my periods? Oh dear, this could take a while before this list is through…

It is said: A good submissive will always be ready for sex. If not she is expected to still have sex.

What about PMS? What about depression? What about if I’m tired or ill? I don’t really think I can do this every time you want sex. Will that be taken into consideration? I have no right to say ‘not right now darling’? What if I have a broken leg? A migraine? Oh this is too hard, I must be a terrible submissive. Yep I am really lousy at this.

It is said: A good submissive has no real need for an identity as she knows her Dominant/Master is the only consideration.

Let me  get this right now I can’t use my own name? I can’t have my own savings account? This submissive thing is starting to sound a bit off. 

It is said: A good submissive will be placid and calm and be respectful, always thinking only of her Dominant/Master.

Hahahahahahahaha, can I stop laughing yet? So I can’t yell or cuss or throw a tantrum? I can’t challenge your thoughts for me at all, just accept what is given to me with grace?  I can’t argue or keep my pride in myself? It will always be your way or the highway? 

I must be a terrible submissive…there is no way your Dominant/Master can be wrong.

 

I have been ridiculous with this post so far, but this bit is very serious. As you look outward for information about the lifestyle, and we all have fantasies about what we think it is about. Don’t look outwards but inside yourself. As you move into this type of relationship it is vital you know what you want. If you don’t like pain, don’t put up with pain. If you don’t like humiliation, again don’t put up with it.

Speak with your prospective partner and share your thoughts, set your limits, and pain level guides. This is all about consent and I mean consent for everything you do not just ok you can spank me. Do you want him to touch you intimately (If it is your first time with this person.) Can he bind you? Consent to every part of the encounter. Know what is going to happen. Most important of all is your safe word and gesture. Say them loud and at least ten times.

To me the dynamics of a good relationship is like a bit of a smorgasbord, a little bit of this and a little bit of that. So look at everything and pick what works for you. You might agree with something then as it is happening you don’t like it, then call a halt to it. You might not enjoy it and you do not have to put up with it. A good Dominant/Master will not expect you to do things when you do not enjoy them.

I can’t submit to a man if I don’t love him. Love comes with respect and trust and you both need to respect and trust each other.

My intension was fun with this post. I mean no insult to any person. I think if we can’t laugh at ourselves where is the joy? There are a couple of things in the fun part I actually do but I laugh at myself too. I wrote this simply to let you know submission is not weakness and both people in the relationship have equal power. I am strong, independent and free, I simply choose to submit. That is what my darling S. finds so erotic. 

I sincerely hope this post offers some good information for you all. Most of you know these things but when you are just starting out it can be a field of landmines.

 

kitten

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