Do you ever look at this world and have your eyes over stimulated by the glory of it’s colour? Well I feel like that at times. I wish I had a dimmer switch where I could tone down everything to black and white and shades of grey so it didn’t overwhelm my senses.
This also applies to my sexuality. I don’t know if this is because I am highly emotional or overly sensitive.
It starts with perhaps a glance into my darling S’s eyes, or he might simply touch my hand and it is like a small electric shock. Goosebumps rise on my flesh and I suck in a soft sibilant gasp. That is rewarded with a glimpse of that crooked grin. Oh he knows what I am thinking but he does nothing. He plays with me and I love that he does. The colours of foreplay can last for hours.
This is the bright neon lights of our sexuality. Should I try to turn this into black and white and calm down? My mind won’t let me. My body definitely does not want to. It is an almost instant reaction and I don’t know why it is so strong but that I would not change it for a second.
Picture that old trust game they play, me standing in the front and darling S. as the catcher. I fall, he catches me but there is still that thrill of will he catch me before I fall? He always does.
When in a scene I feel every single thing he does to me, the way we share all of the sensations. I feel the rope around me and he adores how rope looks against my pale skin. He loves to look deep in my eyes and see all of the emotions pouring out of them. He adores every little moan and gasp. He revels in my submissive nature and the fire that rises from the core in me.
I see each sensation as a colour from the palest blue to the deepest blood red but an orgasm is a burst of every colour in the world. In a scene I can’t think of the outside world, does the world even exist outside of our sphere of the playroom? My skin is aflame and looking in my lover’s eyes pins me to the moment. Even the kiss of the flogger on my skin does not pull me out of the moment, it winds around my spine and travels upward to my brain. The burning caress of leather slides under the skin, wrapping my limbs in heat, the deep blood red hue crossing my body.
Tomorrow they will be shades of blues and purples.
My body comes alive and colours explode over and over again and then we reach it, that place of calm acceptance, where my body flies free and nothing else exists just sensations of my body. In this sub space I am completely in my lover’s control. He will measure if I have had enough or need more. I am completely at peace, and my body is in heaven.
So now, do I feel the colours? No I just am me, stuck in a moment that borders heaven. Do I need my dimmer switch? Not for a second. My life is a rainbow.
I hope this makes sense to you but it is hard to explain.