Sex Education

Firstly, I need you to know that when young I lived way out in the country, so I was home schooled. I was taught by School of the Air. I then had to submit my essays and homework. Therefore my education was sort of weird. Now of course we have computers and it is much better.

My first lesson in sex was sort of terrifying. I got my periods really early. I had a bad tummy ache and I got out of bed and there was blood on the sheets. I was terrified and ran into my mum and she was fast asleep. Blood was running down my legs and I really was scared. She half woke up and told me oh you have your periods, there are some towels in the linen cupboard. Then she promptly went to sleep. I was left thinking okay, towels. I rushed to the said cupboard and grabbed a towel. You know the ones you dry yourself with. I saw the pink packs on the third shelf but I had no idea about what was in them. I took the towel to my bedroom and tried to rub my legs clean but failed so I put the towel on the bed, all folded up and sat on it.

I waited like that for an hour and a half holding my tummy and crying. It really hurt too. When my mother came to my room she was cross I had used the wrong type of towel but she scooted me towards the bathroom for a shower. She then said ‘you stick these in your knickers and change them when they need to be changed. She then told me how to dispose of them.

She left the room and from the door she said, ‘Oh you can get pregnant now.’ I was nine almost ten.

At fourteen I was raped so that was how I lost my virginity.

I was sent to live in the city because of my on going medical needs with a very good friend of the family. He became my guardian.

I did go to a rather posh school and I finally did sex ed. It was all clinical and I was left thinking yes a man put his penis inside a girl and injected sperm at some special moment. It sounded so much nicer to what happened to me so I tended to think it had nothing to do with sex.

My first BDSM relationship became my classroom and I the willing pupil. I was eighteen.

Now I can say I am still learning but with my darling S. This was not my first BDSM relationship but my second. In my first relationship I was a slave and this time I am in a D/s relationship. My wonderful man has taught me so much and in a much gentler way.

I also think you never stop learning. I still have those ‘Oh my god.’ moments.

kitten

6 Comments on “The Erotic Journal Challenge

    • This was a journey I made because you showed me how good life can be. You held my hand and coaxed me from the edge and showed me what real love was. I often wonder where I would be now if I hadn’t met you and that scares me. It is true, true love shared with a good person can change your life for the better. Thank you my darling ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Oh my goodness – how harrowing for you! the rape and the way u started your periods. I am so glad u have a wonderful partner now 😉

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  2. May, I can look back now and it feels like another lifetime. All of these things made me the person that I am now. The person that keeps this blog going is strong and completely in love with someone wonderful. I was quickly able to see a good man and with his support I have put all of that stuff behind me. I still remember it all but I move on despite that. Case of having to I guess. I always tell myself that there are people out in the world that have had life harder than I. Thank you for your kind words. ❤ ❤ ❤

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  3. Oh…the period moment! I can’t imagine being so young and having so little guidance. I didn’t have a ton more, but I was 13, and at least had an idea of what would happen and how to deal with it. And then to be hurt so badly at 14. I’m glad that you have grown into such a strong woman…and I’m sure every experience has helped you become the woman you are.

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    • I am able now to look back and not get caught up in the pain. I speak about these things in here because I survived, no I thrived when I met my darling S. I talk about them now as a cautionary tale that I survived and someone else might read and it will help them. Apart from the nightmares I am doing well. I openly talk about my Bipolar as well as my sexuality because it shows I do not live a dream life. I have a real life that right now, is pretty close to perfect for me and S. Thank you Brigit for your lovely comment. ❤ ❤ ❤

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