I have walked a long and winding road on my journey through the world of BDSM to find what feels best for me and my beloved S. I was very fortunate to find a man that has the same sort of ideas as I do which makes things a great deal easier. On my journey I read lots of things that really didn’t do anything for me sexually and I used to think how could people like doing this sort of stuff? JUDGEMENTAL
I had to search inside myself to work this one out. The people that liked these things seemed to be really happy, just as I am. No doubt there will be people reading my blog that might feel the same way about what S. and I do. Also the people talking about these things seemed to be very down to earth just as I am. Call me dense but I really struggled with this one.
I never thought for a moment these people were bad or lower than me. That was never a problem. We are all on a quest to find our own place. Then I had to understand what I will forever judge, violation of consent and infliction of actual bodily harm such as another form of consent violation. When I read about these things I become angry with the perpetrator and sympathized with the victim.
For those things that do not appeal to me I have learned to not react to them and I just move past it. Hey, if you want to wrestle in a paddling pool filled with baked beans who am I to say it is wrong? Now if it was filled with green jelly I might be in it ~ giggling ~.
I also look to see how much I actually know about something before I judge. I can’t understand if I would like figging if I have no idea about it. (Inserting a plug of something like ginger into the rectum) I go research that. I have never tried it but I don’t judge anyone at all if they do like it. More power to them if they do.
I once made a terrible mistake on Fetlife when I added a fetish of pegging. I thought it meant I liked having pegs or as Americans say, clothes pins on my nipples and other parts of my body. I encourage S, to look at what I do on Fet and he saw that and looked at me and said. ‘um darling that is a deal breaker.’ When he explained what it was I was mortified and quickly removed it. ~ evil grin ~ (Having anal sex and you use a dildo on your male or female partner.) People could have read that and judged not only me but S. also. Luckily we did have a great laugh over it.
I have followed quite a few blogs on here and many of them are about things that aren’t my ‘thing’ but I see the love behind the things they do and I say more power to them. I read their wonderful posts and do not judge what they say. I never judge a person on their sexual proclivities, that is very shallow. The only time I would judge would be if I thought consent is being overrun or if a person is either being genuinely emotionally or physically hurt.
By following these rules I find myself being more rounded in my journey. I am unafraid to bring up something new to try but I am ok if my darling S. says it isn’t for him. Same thing for him.
The most important thing here is that the people who do blog on here and other places are laying bare their deepest desires in an effort to either educate or simply to open their thoughts in writing. So next time you see something you feel is wrong, or not to your tastes look deeper behind the post and you will see where they are coming from. There is a lot of love to find on WordPress.