The Secret Place.
I have a secret place deep inside me, that rarely sees the light of day. Inside it are all of my secret things, my darker fantasies, my secret desires, my dreams and ambitions. I have collected them and placed them so carefully inside the ornate chest inside my mind. It is locked and covered with other things to make sure no one can find it.
As a slave I was taught that I never asked for things as refusal was too painful. Judgement was so very cruel and made me feel ostracized from other people. That was when I crafted a chest. It is made of gold and has gems encrusted around it. That is then placed in an ordinary, plain wooden chest so no one can steal it.
As I have walked this life there have been painful events that still haunt me in the form of nightmares. All my sadness, fears and pain, resides in there. Through the years this chest caused me great emotional distress. I never felt whole. It has not helped my mental well being at all.
I think everyone has a chest like that and it isn’t reserved for people in the lifestyle. We begin as a child and add to it as life goes by. When I married my Master, I knew that I could not tell of these things. I made sure it had more locks on it to keep it closed. I then placed it in a massive safe and locked it tight. This little chest had become a massive weight to carry around with me. It is very hard to carry such a thing inside your mind and it stops you getting into a good relationships as I feel every person that ventured near it, was there to crack the safe and expose my secrets.
Now I had to carry weapons to shoot anyone trying to break in.
Then I met S.
He perplexed me. A lot of Dominants are hunters but S. wasn’t like that. He was interesting, and intelligent and gentle. He really didn’t ask questions, he created a space for me to talk if I wanted. Slowly I put away my weapons. Later still I opened the safe. I removed all the padlocks and opened it to reveal my golden chest. Still then, he didn’t ask or press me to reveal it all. I knew he wanted to know what was inside the chest because he wanted to know all of me.
One day I opened the chest and took out one single item from the box. I spoke about it and something magic happened. He didn’t judge me, he didn’t ridicule me or run from me.
Wow, that was something completely new. I shared something else and then still more. I kept letting out things I had hidden for years. The most special thing to me was, there was no judgement. Now, as I look in my chest, I find it just about empty. And I am Free!!!
I wish that all of you find a partner that you can share the contents of your chest with. I cannot tell you how much lighter I feel. Love can form channels to find communication between you both.
There is but one rule with this communication… learn to listen too.
I love you S.