Picture S. and I laying on the sofa, entwined in each other and my head is on his chest. It was a quiet moment, a still moment in time. We were in a reflective mood and we began talking about how our relationship got to be so strong. I have not loved another man the way I love S. and we talked about why things sit so comfortably with us.
It really does begin with that flame, a spark that grows between you. That urge that makes you think ‘I would like to see this person again’. What comes after that? It is never easy sailing. It is normally the most confusing time of all.
You have reached that moment when passionate love kicks in. Both of you want to please the other. Sometimes you even do things to make the other person happy. If you do that it can become a cross to bear and you will be reminded ‘but you used to love it…’
When I met S. he was not in a good place, nor was I. We loved each other but sometimes love is not enough. We split up, but you know all this. The important bit in this post is the magical time for us. We came back understanding who we are and that was where the real magic started.
Now back to the sofa. I was just exchanging pleasantries and it suddenly hit me that I completely loved S. and accepted him just as he was. Not some idealized, perfect paragon of Domliness but a real man with his quirks and negatives.
If he is in a bad mood I don’t become paranoid and wonder what I have done wrong, I won’t try to cheer him up. I allow him to find his way back. I will ask if he wants to talk about it and ensure he has a place to be if he wants to be alone to sort it. I also ask if there is something I can do too.
He can lose his temper but it is rare but I see behind it and understand it is an emotional response to something else, normally frustration. Well it is that or I have driven him crazy with my bratty behaviour …. ~ wicked chuckle~
Then we spoke on and it suddenly dawned on me that I had never tried to change him. A lot of girls begin relationships not looking how close they really are and then spend a long time trying to change the person completely. I simply accepted him as he is, warts and all. I accept his moods and the fact he can yell at times. I accept his obsession with new things, when he does something for the first time. I know he will be completely into it for a while, for such things as vaping, leather work and many bright shiny things. He looks into everything about them and I find that wonderful and I listen avidly when he tells me about them. Mind you no matter how he explains it I am having trouble getting excited about football. However, I do shake my pom poms in an encouraging manner.
A big thing I do accept is that he is always right. I don’t accept that everything he says is correct, if it is blatantly incorrect I might correct him but I might also not change his mind. Is it worth fighting over? … no never. However, I do know he will go check on his facts ~ evil grin ~. So will I.
Just accepting each other can bring so much peace to a relationship. I have faults and S. accepts them as part of me. I can be moody. I can withdraw when something is too hard for me to process it.
If you try to change someone you might end up with a person that bears no resemblance to the one you fell in love with. Acceptance brings me peace and a wonderfully calm place with S. where we can enjoy each others company. I don’t have a mind in turmoil with conflicting ideas of his dominance with me. He is sure and strong with what he does because he knows I am so open with him. I trust him completely. I saw a long pink crop on a sexy clip and I showed him and said I would love for him to have one. Now these can be wickedly devilish tools, but I know he would start gentle and build up. That comes from knowledge of him and acceptance of his dominance over me. I don’t even hesitate.
Acceptance doesn’t mean you will never think I wish he/she didn’t do that to me. Everything is evolving and growing but you can just speak up and ask for that thing to stop or a reason why it was being done to you. It does mean that if he puts his hands down his track pants while he watches TV you just let it go. Is it really worth getting angry about it? It is probably a comfort thing. Now at this point I must say S. does not put has hand down his track pants while watching TV but it was the first thing I could think of.
When I look at my beloved S. there are no clouds around him. I love him beyond measure and I accept him. I had to do a lot of growing in myself to understand these concepts. They just bubble up when we are close and they are like lightning even if they surface in a quiet way. To realize this point brought me so much peace and joy. That to me was a gift before Christmas.
When I spoke to S. about this subject and that I was going to write a post about it, (I usually check with S. about an idea before I post it) he said he had some ideas about the subject too and he is going to write his own post.
Since they have changed the way to make up posts on here I will do all the fancy bits for him like the pics and drop caps for him then post it on the home page and navigation menu so it might be a couple of days before it is posted.
Posted with love S. and k.