I was thinking about my life and something struck me as quite wonderful. At the beginning of my BDSM life there was no place I could go to talk or ask questions. I met with other submissives it’s true but they weren’t in the habit of giving advice. 

There was no easy place to meet new people or to find a prospective submissive or a Dominant. There was the fear of being caught or charged with assault and be vilified by your peers.

Now things are much easier. There are blogs like this that offer glimpses into the lifestyle and it is usually done in a way to empower the both parties with the knowledge about consent, limits, safe words and gestures. It is written with humour too but that light heartedness does not take from the importance of the message.

Now it is possible to make friends and study all manner of blogs in WordPress alone. You may not agree with what you read but no blog owner really considers what they write as the only way to conduct a relationship. They often say this is ‘our story’ and not rules for every relationship. I also think they will ask you to take only what appeals to you. 

I love this new openness but it could go further. The problem is people consider any sort of BDSM as perverse and until this changes it will still remain in the shadows. I mean how many people who has a blog of this type, puts their real name on it? I would recommend you don’t by the way. It could attract the really creepy people and I consider the nice people on here too wonderful to run that risk.

I would say that if you are looking to broaden your sex life take the advice about safety. When you look through the blogs there are somethings that seem to all be the roughly the same and it is about safety, limits and communication.

Most blog owners have a contact form on their site and if you have questions most owners will do their best to answer them.

There is another site called Fetlife.com and when you go in there your head will spin. Please read my post called Safety Issues before you go there as it can be a place where a small number of creeps can give the whole place a jaded feel. I have a few people there I like to call friends. There are far more nice people than the questionable few.

However Fetlife does have organized events. A munch is a gathering of like minded people, casual dress and no signs of BDSM unless it is a tasteful collar. They also have gathering where you can dress up and see other people with sexy or lifestyle parties. there will be a description of every event and you will have to advise if you will be attending.

The one last bit advice I would give is when you visit a blog here have a look for a list called Blogs I Follow. That gives you a way to find more sites. If you follow a blog you will receive emails when they post new articles. Just press the follow button. Also I would also make a new email with no reference to your real name so that everyone gets your personal email. I find it better to have a special one for this kind or stuff. It isn’t being deceptive it is protecting your privacy especially in Fetlife.

Well I think I have covered it all so please be safe but have fun.

S and k

2 Comments on “Open Communication

  1. As always darling you give the best Information. Thanks for sharing Matilda oh shit I wasn’t supposed to use your real name I’m sorry mrs. Jones oh I did it again well at least I didn’t tell them we live in Toledo right honey? Love you lots baby


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