I am considering writing a fictional erotic book while putting all of the things concerned with consent, safe words and limits all included. I want to make sure there is a book that is a true reflection of the BDSM lifestyle on the market. I know I have written short stories and longer pieces in segments so you will know my writing style for erotica. I am going to include with this post a short example of part of the book. This is their first BDSM sex scene.
What I am asking you is what you think of my writing style, perhaps re read some of my erotica and let me know if you think it is good enough to place in a book. I have written erotica before but it was BDSM without all the reality of safety issues. I will no longer do that kind of thing.
Ok here is an extract…
Hope knelt before Blain in the dimmed lights of the room. Oh, the room scared her silly. There were no whips on the wall or chains in sight but there was a large mirror on one wall and a metal four-poster bed off to one side. Opposite the bed was a bench and she had no idea what that was for. There was a large iron ring hanging from the ceiling and her mind ran overtime as she tried to think of the uses for it. She tried not to imagine and keep some sense of calm within her. Strangely the longer she knelt the calmer she felt. She was naked save for the leather collar around her slender neck. She was sat back on her calves with her hands on her thighs, palms upwards. Her head bowed and her long brunette hair spilled forward to partially cover her pretty face. She was small but perfectly formed. Yes, her tummy was a little rounded and her hips were a little wide but they made for a perfect ass for spanking.
Hope’s heart pounded in her chest and she battled to stop her trembling. She was so new to this and she had no idea if she could obey Blain. She prayed he would not deviate from the plan for the night. Deep inside she knew she could trust him. He had never broken his word or she would never have never let him get her into this position.
From her kneeling position she could only really see Blain’s bare feet. She knew he was wearing jeans but his upper torso was bare.
Softly he said, ‘You look very pretty, Hope.’
She whispered, ‘Thank you.’
He leaned down to cup her chin and tilted her head up to softly said, ‘The correct response is, thank you Sir. Please try to remember or you might be disciplined.’
She blushed so very prettily. ‘I’m sorry…Sir.’ She hesitated over the ‘Sir’ part because it seemed so alien to call a lover Sir. This whole situation seemed alien but she had agreed to try this however, her nerves were showing. The one thing she could not deny this was exciting and her nipples were hard and her sex was so very wet and she didn’t have to feel it to know that was true.
Blain had asked her to try the collar on because it would be a deeper arousal with such a submissive item on her body. He watched her every move hungrily and a part of him wanted to devour her, to push her hard but he couldn’t do that as they had agreed about what would happen tonight. They had set down rules and safe words. Tonight was her first night and was a test to find her limits. Tonight, he would spank her, at first with his hands and then with a flogger. After that they would make love. He prayed she would enjoy this as much as he did.
He walked over to a large set of drawers and pulled out some leather cuffs and a matching set of leather cuff for her ankles. He noticed she didn’t turn her head but kept her submissive pose. His hard cock flexed in his pants and he took a few seconds just to look at her, thinking she was the most magnificent woman he had ever had under his control.
Control, ah that was it right there. The aim of most Dominants was control. Not to smother a woman’s will but to gently control her responses to stimuli. It was his desire to steer Hope to a place where she might have the rawest, deepest arousal. That control was a heady power but it was never power over a person. He didn’t demand he requested and the pure sexual response to her submission was the food he lived on.
He returned to his place in front of her and softly said, ‘Stand up Hope and look at me.’
‘Yes Sir.’ This time the ‘Sir’ had been uttered without hesitation. It made him give her a crooked little smile.
‘These are wrist and ankle cuffs and I would like you to wear them because I would like to restrain you. If at any time you want me to cease, l will stop what I am doing the moment you say your soft word. I will release you immediately and comfort you if you are afraid or tearful. Will you please wear them for me?’
Hope was silent for a few seconds, but she could not help but notice the thought of it made her belly clench in that sexual way and she knew she was even more aroused at the thought of it than she was frightened. She looked up at Blain and said, ‘Yes Sir.’
‘Good girl.’ He held out his hands and offered her the ankle cuffs first and said, ‘Will you put these on your ankles and put them as tight or as loose as you want. Put the metal ring on the outside of your ankle.’
She took the first one and looked at the way it was softly padded with sheep skin. The smell of the leather reached up to touch her senses. She crouched down to put the first one in place. She quickly did the same for the other one then stood upright. Blain watched her then said, ‘Hold out your hands.’
She did so without hesitating.
Blain put on the cuffs, making sure the rings were on the inside of her wrist. Once they were on he asked her if they were too tight.
Hope moved them around and discovered they were snug but not too tight. She shook her head.
Blain then took Hope’s hand and led her to the bench. He asked her to lean over the desk and stretch her hands over her head. This was the point where she would need her courage. She does as he asked but her hands are shaking badly. Blain noticed and said ‘Take a deep breath, darling girl. I promise you will enjoy this.’
‘How can you say that?’
‘I can say that as I can see how excited you are. However, you know you will be safe as I will release you the instant you say ‘lemon’. You also know I am a man that keeps his word.’
‘Yes, I know that. Please ignore my nerves I can’t seem to control them Sir.’
‘I don’t want you to control anything my darling. I want you to experience every sense inside you. Even nervousness can heighten your sexual experience. I know you are aroused.’
Hope didn’t answer and just put her right cheek on the wooden bench. She tilted her gaze up to her left hand as Blain attached a chain to her cuff with a strong clip. It wasn’t done tightly and there was a little give to it. He then clipped the right one. Hope moved her wrists to see how much movement she actually had. It was fine for her.
‘Sometimes it can help if you hold onto the chain if it your wrists become sore. I left it loose so you can do that.’
‘Thank you Sir.’
She jumped when Blain ran his hand down her right arm and she could not stop a moan from escaping her lips. He then eased her legs apart to connect the cuffs to the legs of the bench. This made her tummy clench again. Now she knew her sex was open to Blain and her face flamed.
Blain leaned into her and whispered into her ear, ‘Now Hope we are going to discover your levels of discomfort. I will start lightly with my hand and if you agree I will use a flogger on you. I will not hit you hard. This is done to simply discover your levels and not to punish you in any way. If you do not enjoy it you never have to do it again. Do you understand?’
She moaned softly, ‘Yes Sir.’…..
If you want to please leave a comment and let me know what you think of my writing style. Any feedback would be welcomed.