TRIGGER WARNING – CONSENSUAL / NON CONSENSUAL SCENE
Predator / Prey
I have read an excellent post on Forbidden Writings about being primal / prey and it prompted me to write some more on the subject. I have mentioned before that S. and I both enjoy being this way in our BDSM dynamics. It is something that has always been inside me but I have only ever been able to talk to S. about it.
Primal is considered to be edge play, (close to being something you would have to take great care with whom you play with.) in the realms of BDSM and before S. and I came to the agreement that we would like to give it a go, as long as we really talked about it and also which roles we would bring to the arena. Gawd that sounds so very unsexy but it was also very necessary. You would never do a ski jump without knowing all the physics of it, well I wouldn’t. We ‘negotiated’ through every concern and how far we would take it.
Being Primal means you could be bitten and hard, you could be chased, your hair could be pulled and you could be scratched hard. You might even be held down until you stopped fighting. We had flirted with it around the edges before we spoke about it. Then we looked into it more and decided to commit fully to the experience.
With us, S. has thoughtfully put down some gym mats for us to experience this event. We don’t want injuries happening. During these times S. can put his arm over my throat and press down or put his hand around my throat so it is difficult to breathe. He may slap my face and I will slap him. We will also wrestle a great deal. S. knows exactly how to do this without hurting me in any way. That is very important so research it carefully. If you give into this you must be certain that there are rules, limits and safe words. All of these are so important. You do not want something to go wrong and scare you. That can damage your relationship. I cannot stress how important that is, remember, ski jump without any knowledge…
This is also something you can start off gently then gradually build it up until you each find your levels
This event can begin for us with a chase (in the house) or a simple circling. At the beginning of either of those you will feel your heart pounding. Sight and around the mats. This is a time of heightened senses, smelling, tasting and touching. There can be growling, grunting and snarling too as you give into your animal role. This kitten turns into big cat. S. becomes my tiger.
You should be able to sense if you are the Predator or the Prey. Does the idea of being preyed upon excite you? Do you want to submit to a Predator after a short ‘fight’? Does wrestling appeal to you? Would you like to submit when overcome? Would you like to be chased. Does the idea of rough sex turn you on? These are things that might decide you as Prey. However that might change during the moment.
Are you Dominant? Does the idea of circling your mate excite you? Are you aware of how they move and smell? Does the idea of overcoming them and finally ‘taking’ them on the floor make you hard? Then you are a Predator. Again, this could change in the moment as you consider what it would be like to be taken by a wild woman.
Sometimes things are not that clear cut. I know S. can take me down and overcome me, but I don’t become submissive. I become this wild tigress and though he may take me down I will keep fighting even when down. For S. it adds that element of danger, knowing I will tend to lose control or better to say I fully get into the event. He can’t lose control but that doesn’t stop him enjoying the play. During the rough sex I eventually sort of calm down and give myself to the hugely sexual enjoyment. I really calm down after a few orgasms and purr contentedly.
S. is simply an Alpha type all the time, but during this event he becomes even more so. He never loses complete control. He has to still be aware of limits and boundaries. I am the same I can’t rip him to shreds with my nails but I will bite him hard, (he has limits there too). I can also slap his face but I have to wear his reactions to that slap. He becomes harsh but never cruel. it is like I show him a slap and he shows me a slightly better one. ~wink~
Really I have come to know S. so well I know how far I can go. I do know when to give in and submit to my Tiger and he knows how far he can hunt and take his tigress.
The important thing to remember in all of this is aftercare and it is vital as there will be marks and bruises. This is not just for me it is for him too. It is high adrenalin play and there might be sub space and top space. After an event such as this take time to just gather your wits as you cuddle each other. I am left purring and S. will often give a little soft growl in my ear. Then after this time do what you need to and make sure all marks are tended.
I would also say that if this is a new thing with your Top and he see the scratches and bruises he may feel like he was too harsh with you and it is your time to talk to him and say you enjoyed it. If you didn’t enjoy it tell him it was too much for you, but you are glad to have tried it for the experience. A lot of men feel bad if they do leave you with marks and it is important to listen to them when they say that. It can lead to feelings of regret and a decision to never do that again, even if you both enjoyed it. If your Top dislikes to see you with bruises there is a cream you can get from the pharmacy to help get rid bruises. For myself, I wear my bruises proudly. Don’t forget your Top may have bruises too.
Well I think this goes into the topic a bit more than the first time I spoke about it. I hope this has cleared up any questions you might have but if you are left with questions please take the time to read the post in Forbidden Writings.
S. and k