I have been thinking about what I wanted to write about and it has been a while since I last posted anything, sorry about that. S. Suggested about writing about staying positive and it sort of mish-mashed in with a few ideas, which I am going to put in this post.
I had noticed that when S. asked me how I was feeling I would tell him exactly how I felt so a slight headache became a full blown headache in his mind… NOT the right time to flirt. Or he might have tummy ache again… not the right time to flirt. Can you see where this is going? If I had said I was good I would have had mind blowing sex or even pretty good sex and it would have driven out any niggles I was feeling.
This very thing sort of cropped up today with S. and I. I woke up this morning and I was in a great mood and this positive revelation came to me. I was just sick of saying I was sick.
S. is a right royal pain in the pattootie about this, but he has to be rolled in a ball writhing about groaning before he will admit he hurts. I have become adept at noticing the little signs and he hates to be fussed over but we get by.
I am not saying, if asked, you lie about being well when you clearly are not. I am talking about little niggles. Telling lies about a severe illness is NOT something I promote at all. Full disclosure of serious illness is essential for the health of your relationship but how many times have you felt tired and just out of sorts? Those are the times to talk yourself and talk yourself better. Positive thinking can cure many a niggle. Good sex can release endorphins and help make you feel good.
For S. and I there is no I feel tired, but if I am exhausted I rest. If I have a small tension headache I am fine, I drink lots of water. If I have a migraine I rest in a darkened room. If S. has a tummy niggle he will drink some Keifer, a probiotic drink. If it is bad he will rest and sleep his way through it. When sex does come up and I know he has a bit of a tummy ache S. often says to me I have a tummy ache I am not dead and he is a great believer in sex will cure all ills like most men. The thing is, he can often be right.
The next section is about a permanent damage of your body such as a back injury, shoulder pain, and knee pain. Unfortunately and very often, there is no cure for these injuries and your whole life has to adapt to working with what movement you are left with. Even with bondage you can adapt it for some injuries. With shoulder injuries, and you wish to bind your partners wrists behind their back you can use two pairs of cuffs. You can also put a belt around their waist and tuck the hands inside the belt at the comfortable place and then tie the wrists together in a long loop on the belt. One thing is out of question, and that is if you tie hands behind the back on a person with a shoulder injury, you must never pull the wrists upward and tie them off. It will cause excruciating pain and will damage the shoulders. It is all about not seeing the injured shoulders it is about finding good solutions that work for you both.
As we get older we all have something wrong with our aging bodies. My knees are the result of a life of sport, dancing and rather amazing sex. They used to be much more adaptable and if you asked me if I wished to go back and change my life, I would say a BIG no! I enjoyed my life to the fullest.
The bottom in any relationship that has a problem with joint or back pain has a responsibility to keep their body as healthy as they can and avoid things that irritate the injury. You must speak up the moment you are having problems. It is part of (after) care and self care. Allow your top to help you but the main thing is, if given a direction to NOT do something, please obey them as this is not the time to be a little brat. Accept their caring, it is in their best interest to keep you healthy but that isn’t the reason they help you… It is because they love you. Don’t keep saying I can do it.
There are other debilitating disorders like chronic pain disorder, chromic fatigue syndrome also Lyme’s disease, depression and other mental disorders that impact on your lives. These things have to be treated differently and with great care. Things that are cyclical need to be allowed to run their cycle. You will know the times you can have some fun. With depression good sex can offer a sort of relief because of the chemicals released in the brain. It is wonderful but please don’t have sex just to get that temporary relief. For a better boost do lots of things to make yourself feel better. At this time of year it is romantic and beautiful to go for a walk to look at all the different colours of the leaves on the trees. Get a massage, just pamper yourself. Make sure you have the correct medical help for these times.
I do hope I have spoken well enough on this subject but never underestimate the power of positive thinking. I have talked myself out of a few days where I woke up unwell and changed it with positive thoughts and it ended up a good day. I hope this has meaning for you.
Be well and healthy.
S. & K.