A great number of (Twue) Dominants believe that all they have to do is say, ‘take your panties off I am going to fuck you’ and that is all they think they need to say as foreplay. There are times that will happen and you might enjoy that, as I do. What about the rest of the time?
However, a submissive enjoys as much foreplay as any other man or woman. I know that if my wonderful S. is planning on a scene as the foreplay begins hours before the event. Oh, he flirts up a storm and by the time the scene starts, I am just about besides myself with need. He speaks of wonderful things like ‘You look good enough to eat,’ or other compliments. He will also make me laugh a lot. He is a Master of turning most things sexual.
He might pick out something sexy for me to wear. He often does that because I love it. I like that he notices me and picks things to compliment my figure. He will even come shopping for clothes with me and pick out things I might not have considered and they look great on me. He has a good eye for detail. Dressing can also become part of foreplay. Then there are the countless, almost casual touches, like him pushing my hair back from my face, well when I had hair. He walks up behind me encircles me in his arms and kissing me on the neck. He might cook something special which we eat in candle light. He plays music and dances with me. The whole day is special and great fun. By the time we go to our play room I am beside myself.
My S. is a very sexual person but that does not come at the expense of romance. Sure, he will bend me over a table and fuck me without warning sometimes but he enjoys the foreplay as much as I do. I also have a desire to turn him on and I will either initiate foreplay or play back when he does.
I mentioned romance and it is an important role in our relationship. It is a huge part of our life. If there was no romance I would feel jaded. That is my way of thinking and I do not condemn anyone that finds romance to not be important. Some may be involved in a strict Master/Slave relationship, and romance might not be a part of it. I am not saying there is no love just not the romantic element. It also depends on what you feel is romance, or even foreplay. I know a few people that when told they are going to get a punishing spanking, look forward to it and that becomes foreplay for them.
Foreplay to me, is part of the whole scene. It means my lover values me above a simple sex act. (I am not judging anyone that does not indulge in foreplay) It is a case of different strokes for different folks. Sex is a funny thing, it tends to pin you into a certain place and unless you hate being pinned in one place, you run the risk of things becoming too predictable. Foreplay is the uncertainty factor, it takes you along winding trails to the centre that is the scene. Sometimes it might move you away from what you think is the destination, i.e. a damn fine spanking, to a scene that entails lots of rope. The uncertainty factor is very exciting.
I consider myself to be extremely lucky because I found a man that is almost perfect for me. You will notice I did not say he is perfect and he would never say I was perfect but we both consider each other as perfect for each other. There is a big difference. We are honest and open and we talk so much. We got here through lots of talking and planning. Nothing ever comes easily in BDSM and it is never a straight road. I actually prefer a winding road, they tend to be more interesting.
It is never too difficult to engage in foreplay so encourage it as much as you can.
S. and K.
n.b. A twue Dom is a satirical name for that creature that is too young and inexperienced to understand what BDSM is all about but the sell themselves as Perfect doms or Real doms. Always shy away from Doms that say their way is the Twue way.