There is a certain activity that great lovers have a problem doing with their partners, not just in the vanilla world but also in the lifestyle. Good lovers tend to consider their partners needs before they take their own and normally that is just how we bottoms love it. I have a man that is wonderful and considerate as my lover and he gives me pleasure until I am sated, then he allows himself the freedom to pursue his own satisfaction. Please don’t think I am complaining about this because I’m not. It is wonderful and such a pure pleasure.
What I want to talk about is for those men it can make it difficult for them to indulge in something different a lot of bottoms desire and want. There is a desire of mine that S. finds incredibly difficult to do as it goes against everything he has learned about making love and our downright dirty sex. It did until we sat down and talked about it.
I love to be ‘taken’. I mean out of the blue, grab me, bend me over the sofa, kick my legs apart and fuck me hard. I am lucky I have a hair trigger with orgasms but to be used like that is so damned exciting. Use me, cum, put your cock back in your pants and then walk away. I like the feeling of a mind reeling experience, knowing you found me so exciting you had an urgency to ‘take me’. Rough sex in these circumstances makes me so aroused. I will be a purely sexual being until S. leads me to the playroom for a long session. If I do cum during the time of ‘taking’ me S. doesn’t expect me to ask.
For some reason S. had a real problem with this request and in the end we sat down and had a talk about it. I explained how much I enjoyed it and I actually thought it to be a compliment that he needed me so much he just took what was his.
He just always said he couldn’t do that until I told him how it felt for me. He thought for a moment then told me why he found it so difficult.
When it came to women he had told himself some rather etched in stone beliefs. A woman’s needs should be met before his own, but I sensed more than that. I listened to him and then he said something that shocked me. He was afraid that he might grow to like it so much it might make him lazy and it would take over our sex life. He was not prepared to do that.
There, right there, was the reason. I smiled gently at him and pointed out the obvious and told him he enjoyed all the nuances of our sexual connections and knowing that he would still enjoy that. A ‘quickie’ could not take the place of him playing my body like a musical instrument. He thought about it and then smiled. He said ‘You’re right’.
There is now a new experience we can share and in fact it made us closer.
S. and K.