This is an important subject because the moment directly after a scene you will find a time when you are in each others arms, sated, breathless and worn out. This is the one time you get for feed back, an opportunity to take care of each other. It is the afterglow and a good time to talk about how you enjoyed yourself and to make sure your partner knows it was incredible. That is true for both of you. It is a time for your Top to share with you too. It is a time for holding each other and just find warmth and satisfaction in each other.

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It offers you a time to calm down and relax but this time should go beyond just catching your breath or snuggling thought that is important. Is your bottom in sub space, the soporific state of bliss during the scene? Do they seem inside that place where all other awareness is still locked into what has happened? If they are, Tops must be very delicate with their partners. Stroke their skin, speak in whispers but please don’t speak loudly or demand answers. They will not be capable of answers before the sub space has settled. Your bottom must be given the time to recover. This can extend to thirty minutes after or more. It is the job of the Top to take care of the bottom until they come back to full awareness. They will slowly come back down to earth and then you can do the next stage of Aftercare.

Beyond that very moment, if you had a scene that was highly impactive, then you are going to be exhausted. Your Top has to check for signs of bruising, sore spots, and sore muscles if you have been bound or whipped. Each mark should be checked for broken or abraded skin, then treated as needed.

Next comes the moment where refreshments are made available. You both have expended a great deal of energy and that needs to be addressed. Water or juice is important to replenish fluids lost in the scene. You can also have something to eat, like a snack or a bit of chocolate. This is the perfect time to talk about the scene. The Top will ask if went too far, hurt their partner more than he should have and will ask if his partner enjoyed it. Bottoms please don’t feel you have to put up with things to please your Top. They cannot know if they did anything wrong if you don’t tell them. On the other hand if they were amazing they been to know. This pillow talk is so very important and if you don’t share the things that were too much, it can become a wedge between you over time. A Top is not this amazing god that doesn’t need to know he did a good job. He must know so he can understand your needs better. If a Top found a scene went past what he was comfortable with he must talk about it too. Remember Limits go both ways. It can be very difficult to resist a bottom begging for more.

The best way to conduct the rest of aftercare is to  have a nice long, warm bath with fragrant essential oils and perhaps something like Radox or even Epsom salts.  A bath is a loving, intimate place and it also affords your Top a chance to relax and to make sure you are well.

In addition to the bath and the dressing of wounds you may require lotion placed on any welts, spanking and other impact play can make the skin tight. This takes care of any rough skin chaffed by the whip flogger or paddle. It is also a time to see if there is any Sub drop. Basically sub drop can be a feeling of depression like symptoms. It can happen soon after a long and intense scene and it can happen quite close after the scene. The after care done by the Top should keep a close eye for this.

Also part of after care is to make sure you both get enough rest. That you are comfortable and even more important that you get cuddles. Cuddles can often be over looked yet they are an important to the bottom as well as the Top.

Never underestimate this as it is an important step to reinforcing your relationship. It is a sign of the Top’s love, respect and affection for you.

I would like to add something here. It is nice to take care of your Top and do nice things for him too, so sometimes in the bath, swap places and rub his back and ease away his tension. It is always a two way street.

Have fun and be safe

 

S. and k.

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