This is a lesson my S. taught me and it is an important one. There is a massive difference between Punishment and Discipline. If you do something wrong and your Dominant picks it up then expect discipline or punishment. Which route is taken is between the Top and Bottom.
I feel really bad if I do something to displease S. I feel as though I have let myself down and S. That in itself is discipline. However, there can be times I am acting bratty and I pay the consequences. One of the harsher ones is to have my pussy spanked or flogged three times hard. That way I don’t have the time to become aroused. I am also sent to stand in the corner.
What happens now?
Well first let me start at the beginning and it’s obvious, you need to have RULES. This is something you will have to sit down and discuss what the rules are. Here are some you Dominants and submissives might like to consider.
- You will not wear panties or underpants at any time unless you are under special circumstances like you have a medical appointment or you are wearing jeans or trousers that cut into you. At those times it can be a discipline too.
- You must wear a collar but it can be fine ones of gold or silver chains for when you visit places like family gatherings. Then there are the more appropriate ones for home like a leather dog collar or a posture collar.
- You must not denigrate yourself.
- You must not be passive aggressive.
- You may not lose your temper but rather you should speak about whatever it is that causes you to lose your temper. It is much more grown up way to deal with important issues. However if you are a little, temper tantrums can be part of a scene. All of this is up to your own dynamics. I am simply offering up suggestions.
- You must not cum without first asking.
- You must eat properly and take care of your health. This doesn’t mean your Top may make fun of the size you are. (Unless you desire that humiliation)
- You must obey your Dominant (unless it breaks your limits or you use your safe word.)
- You must not break a rule simply to be disciplined if that discipline is something you like such as spanking. Be grown up and ask if your Top will do that. The top might not do it immediately but be patient they will.
These are just some of the possibilities. You, yourself might suggest rules and your Dominant will most certainly lay down rules. He should also be open to negotiation.
I have a rule that may sound trite but it is a rule. I must not bite my lower lip as Sir sees it as a tease especially when we are out. If I wilfully do it I will suffer the circumstances as I did a few days ago.
Now what happens if you break the rules?
This is what has to be thought about. Discipline is something you really shouldn’t like, well it is to teach you a lesson. Mine can be one of a few or a combination of things.
I love being spanked, so that is no Discipline. Being whipped? I love that too. Discipline must be something that puts you off of doing that same thing again.
My discipline is either, not being allowed to cum for a set time and can run for weeks, even if we have sex. Here comes my favourite one (NOT) I have to stand naked in a corner like a recalcitrant child. I really don’t like the corner one. I can be put on a no sex for a week, but that is mean on my Sir so we don’t do that one, well we haven’t yet. I can be put on a week of edging (masturbating and stopping before you reach orgasm). I am expected to have sex with Sir but he will make sure I don’t orgasm.
Punishment is something completely different. It usually involves pain. Being put into manacles high over your head and whipped until you cannot stand any more. Anything done to you that is an ordeal is cruel and is not discipline it is a true punishment. A thing like that takes you from a learning base to a fear base. It is completely up to the Top and submissive to negotiate which way you both would like to go.
Once punishment is given it is time for your Dominant to comfort you if pain has been used. You should also be checked to make sure your body is uninjured. The important thing is once the discipline is done, your misdemeanour is forgiven. If it isn’t then you need to open negotiations once more. I am one for knowing what my discipline will be before it happens. I know I will be sent to the corner is I forget a rule. The stricter one is if I wilfully break a rule.
I have tried both and at the time I liked punishment but now I much prefer discipline because I learn from it.
I will say something here. YKINMK your kink is not my kink. Choose what you like in all things. Some littles like to break the rules because their Tops do like to spank them well. Some littles get a spanking each day as they both like it. The things about rules is that the offer structure to a relationship, they can bring great pleasure for the bottoms. The thing about spanking is it can come in different layers and intensity. Understand all of this when you make up your minds.
Have fun and stay safe.
S. and K.