If you find yourself in an event or if you mix with people within the dynamic of BDSM there will be protocols for you to follow. I am not one for rules as you may notice and when I am out in any of those places I will act the way S. wants me to. His rules are easy.
- If it is a munch or coffee gathering I dress casually and not sexual at all. This is a meet and greet and normally friendly and fun. There will be no hint of sexual stuff. It really is just to get together with people that share your interest. Munches help people who hold events to see the kind of people you are. There are munches advertised in Fetlife and you can always join them or you could host your own coffee gathering in a coffee shop near where you live. You can go to munches further out from your home town. Usually you can apply to join and the hosts take every step they can to make sure the attendees are nice. Also non lifestyle people can attend to support people. My protocol in this situation is to be very polite and S. likes me to wear a choke necklace that hints at my situation. He will stay beside me and we will mingle together. I don’t have to act submissive, what ever that is like. It is like any other gathering in our lives. I call people by their name not Sir or Master or Mistress.
- An event is a different thing altogether. There might be a dress code and they can be of a sexual nature. They will reflect the life style. It could be a rope event as a tutorial session. These events vary greatly but if you are in Fet you can read all about what the event entails. You will have to apply and be accepted into the group. Protocol here is a little more strict. You don’t have to kneel or have any man or woman touch you. I run according to S.’s protocol not by the groups ethics. I wear my indoor collar leaving no doubt I am owned. S.’s name is on the tag. He owns my heart not my mind and there is a big difference. S. says I call no other man/woman Sir, Master or Mistress but I must be very polite. If any person touches me or demands me to kneel I am to go to S. and tell him. I might also tell them off rather loudly lol. You don’t want to wake the sleeping dragon. My collar screams I belong to someone so no other Top has the right to touch me. S. will never leave my side unless to go to the bathroom. Touching or demanding me to do anything will have S. extremely angry. Normally the events are run so well this happens rarely but you do get a freak once in a great while. If you are single and looking for a partner please read Safety Issues. If at an event and you hook up please make sure they understand your limits, your safe word and what you want to happen. They need to have consent. Make sure someone knows where you are in an event if you leave the main room.
I have to say these events can be a great place to mix with fun people who understand us. Also very fun. I have found most people I meet to be wonderful but you need to be aware that there are a few freaks. I believe my protocols should come from my darling S. and look to your own Top/Dom/Domme/Husband for yours. Don’t be told you have to live by the accepted protocol for your submissive role. There is no such a thing.
S. and K.