One of my pet peeves at the moment is labels I was thinking about it last night and then it came to me, what other kinds of people could be labelled as we are in the kink lifestyle. Well…. Let’s take a look at the Vanillas of the world.

Oh this was really interesting to dream up. I mean what kinds of boring labels could be easily thought up for their relationships. I will give it a go for you.


·         Enjoyment of oral sex…                                   Mouth Slut

·         Does all the housework…                                House Slave

·         Will only do Missionary…                                Starfish

·         Will not fuck with the light on…                    Dark Whore

·         Does not like sex very often…                       Semi Chaste

·         Does not move during sex…                          Necro-Girl

·         Will not perform oral sex…                            Mouth Block

·         Is always too tired for sex…                          Cock Blocker

·         Complains during sex…                                 R-u-done-yet? Princess

·         Has a fantasy about women…                     Lazy Lesbian/Bisexual.

·         A nag…                                                            Frustrated Domme.

·         A Slapper of faces…                                      A Slapper (derogatory name for a woman)         

·         Argumentative Woman…                            A bitch.

·         Has always wanted to be tied up…           Chicken shit submissive



·         Likes to watch TV while having sex…          Lazy Bastard

·         Likes boring sex…                                           Half Dead Fred.

·         Watches tons of porn…                                Half Dead Dick

·         Masturbates a lot…                                       Wanker

·         Complains about everything…                     Ignorant  Bastard

·         Has a massive beer belly…                           Drunk Bastard

·         Comes home and sits on the sofa…           Couch Potato

·         He screams at his woman…                         Ignorant Pig

·         Expects his woman to wait on him…         Frustrated Dom/Pig

·         Would prefer to be at the pub…                Half dead Drunk Bastard

·         Falls asleep while making love…                Dead Bastard

·         Is mean with money…                                 Tight Ass

·         Chases young women at a party…            Daddy with issues

·         Flirts with every female…                           Casanova

And they say we have issues * giggles *.

People these days seem as if they have to have a single word or perhaps two to bunch a lot of people like an umbrella but if you get to know all of your friends under that single umbrella you will not find two the same. Each person is a unique individual.

Having labels can also make you question who you are when you don’t comply with the label description. I mean my S. does not like the word sadist. He likes to spank me but within my limits and while that sounds sadistic I associate that word to criminal activity. We both just enjoy impact play.

I enjoy submitting to S. but that one word does not define me. I also love primal sex and that isn’t submissive at all. What I like to say these days is I enjoy my sexuality in many ways. I face them all with courage and delight. If there is something different we talk about it but after so many years we know each other’s likes and dislikes. S. might say… I am going to tie you up and insert bananas in your ears and no that isn’t something we have tried but I am game *smiling *. You get the idea.

I have written this so that all of you can understand a couple of things. One is, never let a label influence what you do. You are allowed to not like or really like something that is not strictly say submissive without guilt or confusion. Be yourself in all things. Secondly grow and move forward. Explore your inner sexuality knowing that it longs to be free and as long as it is consensual move into every corner of your mind. Abandon shame and guilt because this is something society has placed upon kink.

If I have managed to remove the fence around your playground I am glad. Maybe I just unlocked the gates and pushed them open just a little so you can walk through them. Be happy with who you are and never let another person or even yourself to put you down.


S. and k.


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6 Comments on “Why We Don’t Need Labels

  1. That would be the irony in all this BDSMing that I see. The whole idea is to free yourself up to explore and enjoy but yet some in the ‘community’ want to label you and tell you you can’t or shouldn’t if you want to be a ‘true’. *smirk* So much for free exploration …

    No label for me, thank you! The Bear and I are happy to live and explore OUR way. Nice post, Kitten! I especially liked the ‘Frustrated Domme’! LoL


    • oh I hate that word true in some sentences. I have noticed you have said Domme a few times now Nijntje but to me you seem like I am, a strong independent woman with fire. I couldn’t Domme for the shortest time. Bet the Bear loves you that way too. Ok I have to ask… how do you pronounce your name? hehehehehe


      • Oh I didn’t mean I was the frustrated domme, I just thought it was the funniest one! LoL I have no interest in being the lead in sex. I am a dominant person, of that I have no doubt but in bed …. no thank you. It just doesn’t turn me on at all.

        I used to get a chance to be ‘primal’ before but that was before kids. Noise is always a factor now and my biggest nemesis!!! UGH 😛 I actually like to describe our entire relationship as primal, I have used the wolf and my pack as descriptors in the beginning of the blog.

        The tone has changes mostly due to things I have read and wanted to get off my chest sort to speak. Most of what I write now is not really about me. Just what I’ve been made privy to. *shrug*

        Oh yes …. and you say it like nine-cha *wink* it’s Dutch for little rabbit


      • Thanks for clearing up the name thing, I often speak to S. about you, when you post something funny and we battled to find a pronunciation’ You became Nin. Glad we cleared up the Domme situation. I never believe you were one. You just have fire in your soul which is always good.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Nin is good, ninja works too! *wink* LoL

        I don’t care for labels at all but if you wanted to try and classify where I fall in all *this* you would find the ‘warrior princess’ would be the closest. I have a very short description on my about page. 😀 That would be where the labels stop for me! LoL

        I’ve been called many things in my life but submissive was never one, my favourite was ‘bulldog’! LoL Apparently I’m tenacious and fearless when I want something! *chuckle*

        You guys talk about my posts!?! Sweet! I’m honoured you find them interesting enough to discuss! *smiles*


  2. Pingback: Beginners, Newbies and All – Sir and kittens Pleasure Place

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