So for all you bottoms out there that enjoy some discomfort with your sexual scenes, this is about how to work out your pain levels. This is a very important thing to do well.
Before I get into the mechanics of it I want to talk about an enjoyment of pain. There is nothing wrong with liking this and so many people do. There is no guilt to feel about it. It is not dark or wrong. Don’t let the vanilla’s of the world tell you what is acceptable. It is simply a kink to enjoy. If you find you have feelings of guilt because you enjoy it, discuss it with your Top. You will find he will be happy to help you over your feelings. If your Top discounts your feelings don’t engaged in play that inflicts pain.
Everyone has different ways of experiencing pain so you may not be like everyone else so what you need to do is experiment and there is a way to gauge it.
Everyone knows how the traffic light functions. Green Proceed, Amber Slow down with caution Red Stop! Quite simple.
Medical Pain Levels
You have a better way to judge this as there are more levels with 0-10. Zero being I hardly felt that up to ten which is that bloody hurt so don’t do it again…. EVER! Some people that enjoy pain a lot will use the first two together because something my be a level 9 but you want more so say nine green. On the other hand it could be 5 stop.
During a Scene Levels
This is a thing that you can also use Green Yellow Red. Tops can get so aroused by how you are responding that on occasions they may strike a little harder than they mean to. In this event you can yell red and that means no more at that level of pain but you don’t mind continuing with the scene. Your safe word should be said when you want the scene to end completely.
Play with these, and also to all you Tops, add pleasure with this experiment as a reward. I am talking about sex at the end of experimenting with pain levels, not just an orgasm. Bottoms, if you are given an orgasm then spanked harder, it will associate pleasure with pain. It can become addictive and you do not need pain every time you play.
Bottoms are not the only ones that enjoy pain. Some Tops like to be slapped, scratched and bitten. They must go through the levels too. I, for instance find striking my S. so hard to do but I love what it does to him. If I strike him I can look forward to some primal sex that blows me away. When I had to slap him a few times until I got it right was very funny and he had a set of very red cheeks, it did lead to better things. * winks *
I cannot stress enough about the importance of this. If you have no levels it can make you miserable. If your Top is new and says, ‘I know what is best for you.’ Do not accept it. It means your feelings are not important. There are bottoms out there that do not mind giving the control to their tops and as I always say that is fine. If both are happy, and I know a couple that are, they are doing fine and very happy. It is a consent thing.
My reason for posting these kinds of posts is to offer you information that keeps you safe. So please have fun and be safe.
S. and k.
Any comments are appreciated.