This is one huge subject so S. and I will open it and keep updating as we go on.

As a child I would play cowboys and Indians with my friends and I was always the girl that was kidnapped and tied to the tree. No one rescued me and sometimes the little beasts would forget to untie me. I didn’t have a sexual response to it but I did find I loved being in ropes. It calmed me down and I never called for help. I have never lost the love of being tied. Be it rope, leather straps, handcuffs, or metal pipe bondage they all feel good.

Just the smell of rope makes me melt. When I am bound I struggle to test the strength but only for a short time. It is possible to hurt yourself when struggling though. I will pull out of it if it can’t hold me so S. has to do a good job.

I always say that most people instinctively know if the idea of being tied up is sexually arousing. The first signs are enjoying your hands pinned down or your fantasies will revolve around rope. If the idea of handcuffs excites you give yourself some time and space to experiment. If you try handcuffs on your own be very careful where you place the key and make sure you use them in a position that is easy to unlock.

If you enjoy bondage it does not always mean you are submissive. If you are you will have many ideas in your head about submitting to a Dominant.

This can also be a huge turn on to a Dominant. To have his submissive bound and helpless gives him a rush. Being helpless is a large part of the submissive’s arousal. He will have his own thoughts about having his partner bound and helpless. Even the act of binding you can be a huge turn on.

Before you begin this part of the journey I must stress you have to be 100% certain you trust your partner and that they are kind and respectful of your body and mind because bondage has to be done very carefully. Don’t try to start with suspension in ropes as that is more for the experts. Work up to it and if you can find them go to rope events. Most teaching ones are done with clothes on and can be most enjoyable. Also do not make this your first experience with a new prospective Top. Learn about it and experiment only after you have mastered the easy stuff. Also remember every body is different. Each person has different requirements. I am only five foot tall and I have had surgery on both knees so I have less flexible movement in them. I am also three inches too short to be a perfect rope bunny. The Top must always consider the comforts of the bottom. Also a lot of ‘riggers’ say you can’t make a larger lady ‘fly’ (suspend her). That is not true. If the greatest care is taken, bondage is available to all people. Everyone looks beautiful bound in ropes.

Bondage is not meant to be a play for pain. This is the most important thing to remember and to ensure your bottom is always comfortable.

During the process the bottom must be aware. If it is too tight, speak up asap. Acute pain in your joints is not good nor is numbness, pins and needles or discolouration of the skin. However it might have a tint of redness but never deep red. Never have a gag put over or in your mouth, before the tying up procedure. You need your voice to say if something is wrong.

All rope bondage should be fixed with a quick release knot, or at the very least have a knife handy.

First sign of too tight is a deep reddening of the bound area. If this happens speak up immediately.

Second sign is deep purple and throbbing in the affected area. Yell your head off, but your partner should have loosened the rope before this happens. He has the responsibility ultimately because if you are like me I get too aroused to speak up, I just don’t feel it so S. has to be vigilant. I tumble into sub space with bondage very quickly. Sub space is covered on another post.

Worst stage is when the skin is purple/blue and the area is numb or has pins and needles. There is the possibility of nerve damage and that can be permanent. Pins and needles are a sign of your nerves being compromised.

There is a practice of binding breasts and I will tell you what I have seen so you can make an informed decision about it. There is a form where rope goes around you under the breasts and then over the top of them. Then a rope is wound tightly around both ropes between the breasts and it just applies gentle pressure. It is a nice feeling and is good for women with smaller breasts. It is also an anchor point for other rope fastening. The warning I want to give you is the binding of the breast that has tight coils around each breast can cause damaged to breast tissue and over time can cause sagging breasts. They make the breasts engorge and turn a darker colour. I have even seen a girl suspended by her bound breasts. She looked serene but if it had been me I would have screamed the place down as the pain would be excruciating. Yes, she did have very saggy breasts.

Using this kind of rope work over a long period will damage your breasts. I would not recommend it as a common practice.

I know there are a lot of girls out there that actually love this and I am not judgemental. I can only voice my feelings about it and you can make up your own mind. My first obligation to my readers is to maintain good health at all times

Bondage can be simply tying your wrists and your feet. It can be tying you to different things like a bed, a chair or even a table. Simple bondage is only limited by your own imagination.

There are so many kinds of ropes, hemp, sisal, silk, and nylon to mention just a few. You can use ribbon or even curtain ropes that encircle the drapes.

You can use handcuffs as restraints, as another type of bondage. The only problem with these is they can hurt and mark your wrists.

Kinbaku is the Japanese form of erotic suspension bondage but you must have a ‘rigger’ that knows what he is doing. There are a few places that run courses in bondage, one contact is knottyboys.com Another place to look is on a site called Fetlife.com. They have courses events, but not a lot. They might have more ideas about where you can go to learn. I will give you a warning, the courses should be fine but it is also a place to meet people. Be careful with that and practice the safety hints I gave on the Basics page. By and large though, it is a great site for people that are into kinky fuckery.

You can look on You Tube and find many rope techniques. There are many books on the market too. It you are a couple and want to learn more about bondage then if you do get a book you can both learn together. I promise it can be fun.

There is a thing which I have omitted to talk about but I will do so now. Sometimes a submissive will just be aroused by the feel rope against her skin.  It is possible to make a rope corset that will be hidden by her outerwear but knowing what lies under it will arouse them. You can make a rope chastity belt too. You are limited only by your imagination.

You can also be get a leather harnesses that can be worn without being seen. They will have anchor points on them which will come in handy should you be out and about and have the urge to begin a scene out of doors. Just remember the police take a dim view of sex outside so go somewhere you will not be seen. You don’t want to be arrested. They also take a very dim view of violence towards women. Be careful.

Not all bondage is about ropes but you can use straps.

There is metal bondage but it requires permanent anchor points

Metal bondage is done with metal pipe and connectors which are fixed down in the floor and sometimes walls. This is quite advanced, but you can start out simply.  Be imaginative but also very careful of the welfare of your submissive. Bondage is something to firstly appeal to the submissive, then for the pleasure of the Dominant. It can be really arousing to feel absolutely helpless so it doesn’t have to be painful to achieve that. It really hinges oh what your submissive desires.

The cold caress of chain can be very erotic for a bottom.

If we were to give you any advice it would be to try everything that appeals to you both while always playing within limits and being safe. Go for it and have fun.

This is one very important warning I must give you. If this is a new experience with a new Rigger for you new submissives, or you attend a Fetlife Event please be aware of consent abuse. You can’t move away from the scene and it might start of small like the brush of a hand and go right up rape. I don’t mean to scare you but you have to be savvy and take a friend with you. Most Riggers are amazing and sweet and respectful so you will be safe but take the time to know who is tying you up.

For all you newbies that want to try, have a look at this web site Dr. Bondage …here

As with all things start small and work your way up.

Be safe and be happy.

 

Sir and kitten.

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