Have you ever stood on the very end of a high diving board and felt really scared but then you get the courage to dive off and for those scant seconds it feels like you are flying. It is that moment when you completely surrender you will find true happiness if that is the ultimate desire you have in you. The laying down of arms, capitulation and just floating through a scene under the control of a partner you trust can bring the ultimate pleasure.
The act of submission is one of the most beautiful and powerful things a person can do.
I cannot stress enough that it should never come from a place of weakness. In all other things a good submissive is strong, independent and confident. They are no push-over. They find strength in submission so bring your fire and passion into the mix.
Being submissive does not mean you are submissive to everyone and not for twenty- four hours a day. With S. and myself we have a way to know exactly when the moment changes. He says the word ‘kitten.’ and I know the scene has begun. In that very moment I have the choice to submit or not. I submit because that is something I adore doing. I give my desires, my passion, my dark desires and my complete trust into his hands. Nothing is more exciting as that simple thing. Mind you with my quickly emerging Brat making herself known, there is no guarantee I will submit every time.
For most submissives there will be one Dominant and no other man/woman will ever experience your submissiveness unless you wish it. There is, of course, situations that change this but you will have discussed it prior to it happening.
To the Dominant one of the biggest thrills for them is the trust you bestow on them. The calm within you as you kneel before them and the fire of your arousal will be a huge turn on.
To me the biggest thrill is the sound of the word ‘kitten’. It brings the knowledge that for however long this scene lasts I am his utterly. It also is true to say that even when we are not in a scene I retain a bit of my submission in the fore of my mind and act accordingly. I hear people talk about a 50’s woman and they look down on her with great distain. However I love aspects of that image. If that offends I know I am guilty of setting the feminist movement back twenty years. I just like the way they used to take care of their men. I have to say I am not into the drinking through the day, mother’s little helpers or being downtrodden. I don’t get S. his slippers and pipe, he doesn’t have slippers and doesn’t smoke a pipe but I would if he had them. It is nothing to do with submission it is because I love him.
Now after saying that Dominance and Submission is a strong dynamic. One yields one controls, it can’t be more basic than that. It is when you offer your respect, your trust and ultimately your sexual needs to your Dominant. You will have a strong desire to please them. Your Dominant gives you the promise that they will cherish the gift of your submission, and ensure that, if you become overwhelmed by what is happening to you, you are kept safe at all time. They will also give you the knowledge they will not push your limits, unless discussed prior to the scene. They will give you respect at all times. It is the time you let them take over within the bounds of submission and allow them to show you their dominance.
There are a few things you must understand. During this play they will be in charge and if they want to they can deny you sexual satisfaction. They will play but within your limits. They will also enjoy every minute of it. I am also sure you will enjoy it just as much.
During the rest of your time, outside of play, your life will be almost normal and like any other relationship. In my relationship we share most things as equals and even when I submit we meet as equals, just from different directions. If I become bratty he knows the best way to stop that and it starts with a single word and that word is ‘kitten’. I instantly revert to my submissive nature. It’s a real frustration when he does that but he only ever does it if I am being a pain in the ass and the ‘debate’ is coming from either me being bratty or if I am being unreasonable. It is also a real fight stopper. I never flounce out of the room any more or yell and shout as we both dislike that.
I love to take care of my Sir but as he constantly says you don’t have to do that and I have to tell him I am not being submissive, I am being loving. Then again he does things for me that might not seem very dominant and it is because he loves me. It is give and take.
Not every dominant and submissive relationships are the same. Set your own rules but make them a little fluid to allow growth and I don’t mean be fluid with your limits.
Your whole existence is not about Dom’s and sub’s. Your relationship and life will encircle it and it will make you stronger.
There is one thing I would have you ponder…. Great fantasies sometimes are not so good in real life. You need to communicate and make the relationship as real as you can make it
Have fun and be safe
Sir and kitten
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