Am I alone in having a moment that is wild, uninhibited and out of control, a moment that is like a touch light to send up some blazing fireworks inside your body? It can hit at any time and anywhere. Ignore it if it happens while you are walking down main street. You are in control of it to some extent and two people fucking like animals might shock a person or two.

I have a partner that is Primal too. All we have to understand is, whom is the Predator and whom is the prey. You are not locked in roles you can never escape. It is far looser than that. It is impulsive and comes from a darker place in  your mind, but that doesn’t make it bad. There is one thing I must stress, this is wild but it does not charge through limits. It might dent the walls but NEVER breaks through them.

To lighten the tone a little, I don’t even know if it is directly linked to B.D.S.M. but it could be wild vanilla too. Primal is not about pain and torment or charging over an unwilling victim. This needs a better understanding before going into it. If you have had an experience with your partner and sex has been hot, wild and exciting that after you felt it needed reining in, you need to talk together. Reining it in might not happen if you are in the middle of it. That could be your beginning into Primal.


You need to really trust your partner in this and know they will stop if it gets too much. Retain your safe word. It is hard to control your primal urges but not impossible. The other thing is you may start as prey but somethings happen sometimes that could see you change roles mid stream. How would your partner handle that? It happens to S. and I and I sometimes take the lead but I never challenge his dominance of me. I might straddle him and ride him hard but he still grasps my throat, pulls my hair and is very active in the actual sex act. It makes things interesting and I would not change that. I know my wonderful S. and I know what he likes so I always seem to follow that as much as I can. I will slap his face and as I wrote in an earlier post he loves that, so do I. We love biting and scratching and I will fight with my arms and legs when pinned down. I would never really hurt him. I know how to get away from a man if provoked and I would never use any of that against him. I also know how to roll a man off me and that comes in handy with Primal activities. So you can see I do have rules. So does my S. We never spoke about what was acceptable we just know each other very well but I have over 10 years of experience with him. We do talk after and check each other out. Yes you might be bruised but in a good way and please don’t read anything into that other than the bruises bring back delicious memories of the act and that makes me squirm in a good way. If you are bleeding then, for me, that is going too far. Apart from slaps there are no other strikes like punching. I am not a punching bag and neither is my S.

If this has sparked something in your mind, talk to your partner and perhaps there might be something in them that responds to it. As I always say, communication is your biggest ally.

Do I like Primal, hell yes. Do I  lose control, to some extent. When my Sir looks fiercely and says, ‘Run!’ do I run? Most times yes but it is understood if I am unable to respond and I don’t run that is fine too. We will usually just cuddle. The last bit is that Primal is a small part of our experiences not something done all the time. Now you have heard about it, if it is of interest to you, please don’t label yourself with it, just enjoy it.

Have fun and stay safe.


Sir and kitten


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