There is something brewing inside of me. All this freedom I have is not helping me. It is like a boil trying to work it’s way out of me. It’s all hot and painful. I can feel it burrowing out of me.

That dreaded ‘B’ word is being bandied around and it is making me uneasy. What ‘B’ word you ask, B R A T. That’s the one that is shaking me up. A good submissive is not a brat, it goes against everything I was taught many, many years ago.

Things have changed beyond all recognition now. I don’t use labels but this one seems to be giving me trouble and dogs my footsteps. I am not a little, I know that for sure so can a grown assed woman be a brat? So it would seem. I have a wicked sense what I should not be doing and that little devil in me spurs me on. I was worried that my rebellion would undermine us. S. and I spoke about it and when I mentioned the word brat he smiled. He always smiles. He then said, ‘Took you long enough.’ I have to wonder how many times he is going to have to say that to me.

He then said, ‘Do I look as if I can’t handle it darling?’

Suddenly I knew, ‘No, you can handle it.’

All I have to do now is to let go of the preconceived concepts. It will not be the only part of me so I am quickly moving out from under the label. It will not undermine our relationship because I won’t throw tantrums too often. I think it will enhance if anything. S. does love a good tousle.

So I am left with this and it is in my hands to play with. Well I might get burned but I might also have a good time and I think it will be the latter. It just might be an interesting time for S. and I.

 

Sir and kitten

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2 Comments on “Oh no, a Brat!

    • I find it amazing how certain negative words, given to certain activities, become this monster stirring up inside your mind but when it becomes part of your make up it is just another flavor in a meal, just like a spice. Even at 40 years old I am still very much a student.

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