Masochism is the enjoyment of things like pain and humiliation. If your kink leans this way do not feel ‘bad’ about it as the world is full of people that share your desire. As long as your welfare is the key thing in the experience then explore it. Start slow and build up. A lot of people enjoy a good spanking but that does not mean you want to be whipped. Do only what you are comfortable with. The biggest rule is when you are exploring do not allow yourself to be tied up so that you can move away from the experience if it doesn’t stop the moment you use your safe word. All of this needs to be about the bottom (pardon the pun) not the Top. You might also find your Top is uncomfortable with hurting you so you must respect his choices. Limits go both ways. Also if you are experimenting, it doesn’t have to be without passion and heat. You can make it a clinical trial too, which ever you prefer. Your partner needs to know how hard to strike and how hard NOT to strike. Please used the number system, 1 -10 10 being the worst pain ever. Or use the green, amber and red. Red being, stop right there. If your partner is new to this he will want to know all of this for your welfare.
You might read about people that love to be spanked until they cry, even people that have no limits with the strength of the blows and that really is ok FOR THEM. You have nothing to live up to. This experience is YOUR experience, your need and your enjoyment. There is no ‘right’ way to go about this, there is only the right way for you.
So you think you might enjoy this or you know you do. As I have said in previous pages this covers such a wide field. It can be put into a sort of list.
- Mild. Very mild things that are by and large very pleasurable. They would be things that enhance the submission experience. It might make your skin red, hot and with tingles. The redness will pass quickly. However, it might also be something that will leave you with the question … how would it feel with more?
- Medium. This is something that could make you cry and cause you some stronger discomfort. It is a level of pain or discomfort that is pleasing but if done right you will still enjoy it. The skin will be red and might leave welts. It might also leave light bruising. If you were spanked it would have been perhaps with an implement like a hairbrush or ruler. The heat and soreness will last for some hours. It will also be a bit sore to sit on if it were your ass was spanked. If you are like me, every time I sit down I feel it and it turns me on and so the experience lasts for longer.
- Strong. This is getting into the realms of harsher experiences. It can still be within the realms of a submissive’s desire. However, if you do not like pain, and I mean real pain, don’t go here unless you have experimented with a build up to this point. It will usually come with bouts of pleasure. Be aware this could hurt and mark your skin for days. It will also have leave a mark in your mind. It could leave you with feelings that are hard to cope with. Wondering why you enjoy such things.
- Extreme. This is the uncomfortable area for me. You may not know that pain can be addictive to either the Top or bottom. There are people that enjoy it and I am not here to judge them. They have every right to indulge in these things as long as consent is observed and it is done in a positive manner. This site promotes safety and good health, so this treatment could go against safety and good health in my mind. The important thing about this is you are not a bad submissive or a bad Dominant if you will not go into the extreme area.
There is a little know fact that when you are being struck, after a while the pain levels seem to top out and your skin becomes desensitized. Not so much when the strikes are over a broad area such as a whipping that targets a lot of your body, but a concentrated one on your ass you can wake up with an ass that is black with not much blue. It can be a shock and you have to trust your top to take the initiative and ensure you are kept safe. A black ass takes weeks to heal.
There is one important thing you BOTH must remember. YOU ARE NOT A BAD SUBMISSIVE IF YOU CAN’T DO EVEN THE LIGHTEST OF PAIN. BEING A SUBMISSIVE DOES NOT MEAN YOU HAVE TO ENDURE PAIN OR DISCOMFORT. IF THAT IS EVER SAID TO YOU, AND YOU HAVE MADE IT CLEAR FROM THE OUTSET YOU DO NOT WANT PAIN….LEAVE THAT PERSON AND DO NOT GO BACK!
All of these things should enhance your sexual adventure not become something you have to endure.
This is a whole different kettle of fish. Most of us get called words during scenes that you might not use in real life. S. calls me names like whore, slut, and worse but during these times I find them exciting. It is a taboo to me because believe it or not in this day and age I am still lady so they are never used in real life. The only times it comes close to encroaching is if S. asks me if I am a needy slut when he is starting a scene. that just makes me melt. The point I am making is it is ok to speak this way in the heat of a scene but never ok if it is used in to put you down in real life. If you do not enjoy it let your Top know. Also, never be afraid to stick up for yourself. Ok before all the people deeply into humiliation start going crazy, there are many people that love to be humiliated in that way and that is fine if it is consensual. I do not condemn or judge them.
Mild forms of humiliation can be making sure your sex is always ready for examination by your top, made to sit naked in front of a window, made to crawl, kiss the Tops boots or feet, or made to wear a collar and leash when going out. Lots of different things depending on the imagination of your Top.
Other forms of humiliation is potty training, being peed on, scat, having your head shaved, but all of these are extreme. As I said above is for those that do like it, I do not judge or condemn as long as they are consensual.
Be safe and have fun
Sir and kitten
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