Lately you’ve been on my mind and I don’t know why

But I am wondering if you would recognize

The scared child has turned into a badass woman

You were supposed to protect me but yet you taught me well

To fear, to hide, to run away and just to disappear.

But now I am changed.

I am strong and no longer run away from men like you.

No man will make me run away I stand my ground stead fast.

I recall the spittle in the corner of your mouth when you yelled at me.

The feel of your back hand clipping along my jaw will stay with me.

The way your eyes half closed when the mean drunk came to play.

And the reek of beery breath poured past your teeth made me want to puke.

Now you’re gone, parts of me wants to know if you would recognize.

Would you see the frightened child? No she would not show.

She would stare you down and tell you what you did to me

Then show you all traces of her has simply gone away.

No more a child but woman grown. Not taking shit no more.

Not feeling cowed by anything I meet head on now.

I speak up and scream sometimes against something shoved my way

I may fall along the way but I get up right away

and dad I’m glad for those early days, you made me what I am

I now have a man that travels life with me

You were the darkness then but now I’m in the light with him.

He taught me trust and love and acceptance of my past to stay within the light

He is the sun in all that’s good in me and you the darkest night.

And I’m doing something now that isn’t for your sake but mine

I forgive you.



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One Comment on “I wonder

  1. Pingback: Home Page Two – Sir and kittens Pleasure Place

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