I have heard a couple questions in my life about how can a Dominant can tell how much pain is inflicted with things like Paddles, floggers, whips and rulers. Well this is a large question. Of course it depends on how hard you strike.
My biggest hint for a new Dominant is simple…try it on yourself. I am not kidding, it is a great way of knowing what he is asking his submissive to take. My Sir makes whips. He recently made one for me that is 4 foot long and it is in parachute cord. He makes them from this material before he makes it in leather to test out how it will look and feel. He said it was a little heavier than he thought it would be. He wanted to know how much effort it would need for him whip my body.
I suggested he take a practice swing using his right hand. I suggested he run it from his right shoulder and around his left hip. He was curious so he tried it. Unfortunately his aim was a touch out, it went around his back and the fall hit him in his crotch (that is me being delicate) He bent over a few moments, gasping for air. Then he looked up and said to me ‘I think you will like it.’
From there we searched for clips of girls being whipped. We found a good one on Redtube (free porn site) It showed the effort needed to swing the whip and it was a lot less than he thought. He has been practicing his swing.
From there we graduated to the pain levels. This is something we need to do with anything new such as whips as the weight and length varies. This is a system that is pretty good. Doctors will sometimes ask you to say a number between 1 – 10 1 being, one I never really felt it to 10 which is the worst pain you can tolerate. That works well but it needs more. The traffic light system brings in a submissive’s personal preferences. It might be a five and green which means, ‘that was not too painful’ and keep going. It could even be a nine green, ‘I want more at the same level’, or a nine red, ‘oww, that really bloody hurt never do it again’. Every masochist is different. Do you have to be a submissive to be a masochist… no. Do you have to be a masochist to be submissive… no. They don’t always have to be that way all the time. The same goes for a Dominant. There is a larger question too, can a Dominant want to have a spanking… yes. Does it make him submissive… no. He might just be a rare bird that is a masochistic Dominant. So if it happens do not be appalled and accept that for what it is. It does not make him weak.
All of this must take place as an experiment not part of a scene. This is a lesson for both of you. The Dominant must know how to use the tools exceptionally well. One mistake can make your submissive really nervous to let you do it again. The big thing is to test and practice. It is the mark of a good Dominant if he insists on testing each tool in his tool box.
Using whips are much different to most other tools like paddles and floggers The smaller things are easier to control. Whips need to be used a lot until the Dominant can virtually know for sure how hard it will be and that their aim is true. You don’t want to take an eye out and wearing safety glasses is so unsexy.
With a whip you also have to know where to stand when you do use it. Aim lower with a long whip because it wraps around the body and the cracker can catch a breast very hard. Not so good with implants. The cracker will be the biggest point of impact and if it cracks, it breaks the sound barrier and it will have your partner screaming. It doesn’t need to crack to hurt.
There is one issue that comes up but isn’t often addressed. A Dominant can wonder if their partner is taking the pain just for them, if the dominant is a Sadist. I would ask them a few questions. Does the partner become aroused by it? Do they use a safe word? The last one would be, do they interspace the lash with small periods of pleasure, like fingering?. All of these things make a difference. I would be very wary with a partner that just loves the pain and wants it to escalate. I think most Dominants have a level they wish to stick to so I recommend that all Dominants write a list of limits. It becomes their line in the sand. They can help stop doubts.
I usually tackle subjects for the blog after I have had a serious talk with Sir and because he was making whips he needed to ask a few questions and he thought I should write about it.
I hope this helped.
Have fun and be safe.
Sir and kitten
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