People sometimes believe that intimacy means sex and that is so far from the truth. The intimacy I share with Sir touches my heart, my mind and my soul. It is the conduit that carries our love into each other.
Intimacy makes us know what each of us is thinking and at first, that is unnerving. It is something that happens when you open yourself up to each other. Over the years of talking we learned all about each other and every little desire and even our darkness was shared. There are still things I haven’t told him and I am sure he has those too. I figure it will come up if we need to bring it into the light.
I can’t tell you how often we have both brought up the same subject and we laugh and say snap! That connection we share is not unique. Everyone can share like this with another person if they take the difficult step to open yourself up and make yourself vulnerable. I don’t say do that right away. Please don’t. Get to know a person first let them earn your trust and start with the small things. I kind of broke the rule of that but I was lucky, I had found an amazing man. I said I liked Dominant men. His answer? “Good”. I was safe because we met on line so it was safe for me to tell him that.
It was the very first step in a long journey.
I know how much he loves coffee, how much he hates it if he has to fight his way to the coffee pot in the morning. I know he can be O.C.D. when learning about a new hobby. I know what makes him sad but also what makes him happy. I know when he is hurting even if I am not in the same room with him. His sense of fun is so infectious I am quickly rolling around laughing. He can be a hurricane and sometimes a warm gentle breeze.
He knows when I am hurting or when I am feeling weak and he just holds me. He doesn’t have to say a thing, I open up and talk about it. I used to be passive aggressive ( I might relapse now and again but he points it out to me.) I used to be manipulative but that has been freely given away. I have given him the key’s to the kingdom. I am in his hands and I trust him to take me to where we both want to be. This is nothing to do with him being my Dominant. In my mind it is him being my lover, my friend, my confidant, then my Dominant.
When it comes to decisions that are for our life and home we make them together. We are equals and treat each other as such. I do have to say Sir knows exactly when to give me his crooked smile, which makes him look super sexy and addles my brain. I am an Australian and his accent is perfect mid-western. Both of those things completely make me melt and my motor starts running on turbo. Did I tell you he doesn’t always play fair?
All of this speaks of intimacy, the connection between us. It is possible to find this for yourself. Don’t settle for something that isn’t good. Never try to live up to someone else’s ideals or rules, make your own. Some Doms/subs might think what we have is not a true Dominant/submissive relationship. We don’t care. It is perfect for us.
What would be my advice to any new Dominant? Remain true to yourself but be open to changes. To any new submissive I would say, ‘be fearless and never be afraid of yourself and your true desires.’
With every moment you have the opportunity to develop real intimacy. Don’t let it slip away.
Sir and kitten
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