Words, words, words… they have different meanings but they are powerful words and can misguide you. A lot of people would say those two words mean the same thing but to me they mean something entirely different. Bare in mind I am not the all powerful god of knowing but in this site I can only tell you how I feel.
To me Torment means doing things that either hurt but a hurt that feels good or some other form of torment. It is also something governed by safe words and limits. It has a ceiling to the levels of what is being done to me. There is one torment that people might not know about and that is tickling a girl that is bound. It can be worse than a crop! I have places I am ticklish and to not be able to escape makes me crazy. If you are tied down and you want your Dominant to put his hands all over your body but he touches you with a feather. Pure torment.
Torment can be making you wait for the release of orgasm and making you edge for hours. Or it can be genuine pain, like nipple clamps, the stroke of a crop on your ass, or having your face slapped. But through it all, it is within the realms of your limits and the respect of your dominant.
Torture, to me, takes away all of your rights and limits. It is to be used by a Dominant that does not respect you, your limits or your well being. I know because I have been in that place. In my first relationship I was very young and knew nothing. I was in a Master/slave relationship with a contract that I signed. Now I know that a contract isn’t worth the paper it is written on.
It can be a positive thing and the contract is a symbol of your Dominance and submission. It usually means that you give over all control of your body mind and soul to a single Dominant Master. A good Master will understand your body completely and your darkest of desires and he will do his best to fulfil them all. He will also understand your fears and make sure you are safe from them.
During the day and when not in scenes you will normally dress as your Master wishes and act as he wants you to. A good Master will not be of the mind that your pleasures come second when his are always first. A good Master still might allow you to have safe words and be willing to stop whatever made you cry it out. This is not a bad place to be.
A good Master will also understand the difference between Torment and Torture. However, there are people out there that use the name Master and take it as a sign he can do what the hell he wants to you. Torture is a word he is comfortable with. Please make sure you know the good ones from the bad ones.
They could quite happily string you up and beat you terribly. Complete torture.
I do not mean to frighten you at all but I want you to know the difference between a good or a bad Dominant.
I also want to mention the opposite of that scenario. There are submissives out there that want to experience true pain, true torture and a man that that is willing to do that. If you are like that please do not think I putting you down. You just have to find a couple that go together.
Torment or Torture has a great divide between them. Find which side you wish to be or even if you want to experience from both side. In this you have complete freedom.
One experience I witnessed was of a woman that was bound so she could not move. Both arms were hoisted over her and her legs were stretched wide open. He feet were off the floor. Her Master then began to systematically whip her hard with a cane. First her ass, the top of her thighs and her back. She never cried out or spoke. All that happened was she took in a sharp breath. He leaned in close to her and whispered something we couldn’t hear, then he stepped back. Her body began to sweat. He moved to the front of her and whipped her belly and the tops of her thighs. Still she doesn’t speak or make a sound. He leans in close then steps back. He whips her breasts and hits her nipples a couple of times. She moans then but very softly. He leans in again then steps back. The last thing he does is to whip between her legs six hard times. This time she cries out. He leans in close and says something and the girl orgasmed powerfully. Every time he leaned into her he was telling her not to cum, the last time he said she could. He took her down and carried her out of the room so he could care for her.
I have never been so disturbed and yet turned on. I was young and had little experience. I found out later it was neither a torment or a torture, it was something they both enjoyed. Was it Torment or Torture? I guess only the girl could answer that one. What I am trying to say is everyone is different.
The tie at the wrists tied together in a single loop and suspending like that is cruel and potentially dangerous as it will severely hamper good circulation. Please don’t use it.
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Sir and kitten