This is a page about Pain vs Masochism. Read it while keeping in mind your own Limits. It is a place to experiment with your partner.

Masochism is a desire for things that are either uncomfortable, painful or humiliating.

This is about pain itself.  In a BDSM relationship and if the submissive enjoys it, pain can come in many levels. It can also be very pleasurable.

This can only happen if the submissive enjoys it not if the Dominant wants it. NEVER endure it.

The levels of pain can be numbered from the least to the most severe. (This relates to me and I am a masochist, so keep that in mind but I do not do all of the things on this page.)


  • A posture collar can abrade the chin or the base of the neck. A posture collar is a wide collar that fits under the chin and keeps your chin up. They can be uncomfortable if badly fitted.
  • Leather manacles before they wear in.
  • Metal cuffs.
  • Metal anklets.
  • Joint pain in bondage that happens during the time you are bound.
  • Pinning down your hands in a scene

2…Applied pain.

  • A light spanking.
  • A light slap.
  • A light grip around the throat. (Front or back of the neck).
  • Rough sex.
  • Hair pulling
  • Electro shock on mild settings. On low settings it can be very pleasurable. On higher it can have a kick like a mule. They can use a dildo in the pussy or anus, again can feel nice or a kick so I have put it here to start with. You must use proper machines and never hook up a homemade machine from the mains as it can kill if a mistake is made.

3… Applied pain…

  • A short duration spanking that is harder than mentioned in number 2.
  • Use of a flogger on the butt. (a handle with lots of strands) It makes a submissive’s skin go red and is slightly heavier than other, more painful tools. However restraint must NOT be used by the Dominant until the pain numbers are known. (read about Masochism for more details about pain levels. It is a pain that might last the day and make the submissive sit down a little more gingerly.
  • A more intricate bondage that makes your joints ache more than in level one. Joints such as shoulders, hips and knees and back might last longer.
  • Light face slapping.
  • Nipple play, pinching  and pulling.
  • Application of light clamps, like clothes pins. Understand that the pain will grow when the clamps are removed.
  • Light choking.

4…. Applied pain.

  • A hard spanking for a longer duration, targeting the more tender spots like the top of the thighs or the inside of the thighs. Light slapping of the breasts, or pussy.
  • Harsher clamps, (clover clamps, chopsticks and screw clamps.)
  • Use of spanking tools like paddles on the body.
  • Forced orgasm. This is not pain per say but it can cause over wrought sensations that can be equated with pain. The first stage is pleasant and you might beg for more. The second stage is over sensory stimulation and you try to wiggle free from whatever is causing your orgasms. The last stage is a feeling of helplessness and an inability to go on. Also it is something that pushes you into Subspace. (Forced orgasm is when a vibrator (Hitachi or a Doxy wand) is pressed against your clitoris and you are made to orgasm over and over.
  • Having prolonged rough sex.
  • Having your Dominant regulate when you can pee and when your bladder is full.
  • For the gentleman, a cock cage will be applied to your cock and sometimes your testacies so you can’t get an erection.  Also cock rings can be applied too. I am sorry I have no idea how these things feel so I put them here. Cock spanking is another thing.

5…Applied pain.

  • A flogging with a cane, crop, quirt, or a whip. (Not a prolonged flogging, but one to test your mettle. Pain numbers and colours situation) A good Dominant will not go past your limits and will react to your safe word instantly to take care of you.
  • Really strong bondage. Perhaps a foray into Shibari (Japanese rope technique).
  • Urtication (applying nettles to the skin. Perhaps toothpaste to the clitoris or some form of  heating cream like Deep Heat) It will have you hopping. The first time you try any of this do not be tied. You might need a quick clean up if it is more than you can bear.
  • Nipple torment with harsh clamps perhaps with weights.
  • Stronger choking

6…Applied pain.

  • Applied spanking to butt, breasts and pussy.
  • Whipping that leaves welts and makes you cry out.
  • Whipping that leaves bruises.
  • Being bound and whipped
  • made to stand in the cold and snow.
  • Being put into a cage that restricts your ability to move.
  • Choking that cuts off your air. I have said this one but the person doing the choking should be very experienced in this practice. The pressure is only maintained until you are close to passing out and will usually result in a slap to bring you back to full consciousness.

    Never try to do this with a rope by yourself. A number of famous people have done this and died.

7…Applied pain.

  • Being hosed down with a strong jet of cold water.
  • Fasting for a stated duration.
  • Being bound naked in a forest in cold weather.
  • being made to run and jump without wearing clothes for the submissive
  • Being hung from a point overhead so your feet don’t touch the ground and whipped.

8… Applied pain.

  • Attachment of a skirt hanger to nipples and pulling the handle. (A skirt hanger has a rod with two strong clips at either end). The clips are adjustable width wise  and can be set to match the distance between your nipples.
  • Electro Shock with a static stove lighter.
  • Being made to straddle a large beam of wood with the corner being the part that rests on your clitoris. Your feet might be free which helps if they touch the ground. The legs can be bound and pulled back so you are forced to lean harder on the edge of the beam.
  • A rope caught between two anchor points, with several knots in it. It is made to be the height of your pussy and then several inches higher so it is very tight. Then you are made to walk along it. Depending on the type of rope it can be quite a torment.

9… Applied Pain

  • Hanging upside down. (this must only be done for a short time).
  • A prolonged flogging with a cane or quirt
  • The soles of your feet being caned over a prolonged period. (also known as bastinado.)
  • Shocked with things like a Taser or a cattle prod
  • Fisting
  • Tightly bound breasts until they turn purple
  • Whipping that cuts your skin.
  • Tying you arms tightly behind your back then putting a rope overhead, tie that to their hands with it and hoist her arms upward. Too high and you can dislocate the shoulders.  Never lift their feet off the floor.

10… Extreme.

  • Needles stuck in the breasts or genitals.
  • Extreme body piercings.
  • Nails hammered into nipples and scrotum and attached to a board.
  • Being made to stand on metal plates and shocked.
  • Large objects inserted into the body.
  • Breasts being tightly bound and being hung by them.

I do not promote any pleasure in the last two segments for myself. What you will like is completely up to you.

There is another thing you need to know. When being trained normally a Dominant will usually arouse you close to or actually allow you to orgasm, then introduce the pain. So it becomes easy to associate pain with pleasure which is fine.

There is also an addictive problem with pain. You could somehow need pain to enjoy yourself sexually. You can also become a pain slut (both sexes). A pain slut want’s more and more pain to achieve orgasm. Good Dominants do not want this kind of person. Sadists do. It is just a matter of choice so enough said.

I have listed all of these things but a lot of them are things I would never do. If you are a person that wishes to try these thing I do not judge you. I simply listed these things so that you understand what can happen. The levels go from very soft to torture.

If your submissive ever uses their safe words please respect them and actually be happy with them. It makes you know that they aren’t doing this to please you, they are doing it because they enjoy it

This is Bastinado and must done very carefully. You can see how easy it would be to dislocate her shoulders. Not every submissive can endure this level of movement and every sub is different.

Have fun and stay safe

If you have questions or you want to try your hand at writing. We will not spam you, send you endless newsletters or fill your mail box with junk. We will just answer your questions. Contact us …here

If you have a comment to make please use the section at the bottom of the page. Your feedback is appreciated.

Sir and kitten

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