This is an very important thing to discuss between submissives and their partner A dominant might have a few of their own even though they are Dominant. There are two different kinds of limits.

  • Hard Limits. These are things you never want to try under any circumstances. I have hard limits and mine are.
    • Blood Letting (cutting or bleeding welts.)
    • Age Play (daddy/daughter)
    • Needles
    • Scars (Usually from whipping)
    • The use of heavy whips.
    • Anything to do with Urine
    • No faecal matter. (yes you have to set these down in the beginning) You will find most Doms are not into it too which helps but just make sure.
    • Fisting.
    • Sharing me with another man.

Some more are:-

  • Harsh pain like a heavy flogging. One that leaves you bleeding
  • Having extreme bondage like suspension.
  • Anything that causes you fear.
  • Anything that could be called abuse.
  • Having the consensual/non consensual  play such as a scene where you offer up all control to your Dominant. This one is a fantasy of many women but I am unsure about that for men. Be 100% sure you can trust your Dom and know he will stay within your boundaries. If you have no wish to try this then put this on your Hard Limits list.
  • Choking
  • Water Boarding (Either holding your head under water or placing a cloth over your face and putting water all over it.
  • Putting a plastic bag over your head.
  • Taping your eyes as a blindfold. (This sounds silly but it hurts and can damage your eyes.


  • Soft Limits. These are ones that you might be willing try and experiment with, but they make you uncomfortable. Such as,
    • Spanking with hand, hairbrush, flogger, paddle. Usually on the ass but can be the breasts and the pussy. Take these one at a time.
    • Bondage, in all it’s forms. The more intricate of bondage is the Japanese ropes works called Shibari. I will be writing about Bondage in the future.
    • Wearing fetish clothing and masks such as the full gimp hood.
    • Toys, such as vibrators, dildos, clips and clamps. Far too many to list them all but you know what I mean. It is fun to go to your nearest adult shop and just look around and make a mental note of the ones that make you nervous but you find them erotic.
    • Mummifying (Wrapping your body with either plastic shrink wrap or bandages or with latex.
    • Mention if you have any allergies with latex or any other ones. These are important for your Dom to know.

I hope this answers a few of your questions. Just don’t rush into anything and make sure you tell your partner all of your hard and soft limits. These lists can be changed if you encounter something you don’t like. If there is something on your soft limits you try and you never want to do it again it is then bumped up to the hard limits.

My Sir has a few things he is reluctant to do and it is all about my health. With my previous Master I used to get very emotional and my head was filled with dark thoughts I used to ask for a real beating. I was his slave and he was very willing to do that. My Sir now thinks there are much better ways to deal with a racing mind and emotions. The beauty of this now is, so do I.

It was a soft limit of Sir’s and he would have done it for me but I have asked him to make it a hard limit. He was very happy to do that because the whole thing made him uncomfortable. He has never thrashed me.

All of these things are meant to make your sexual journey a happy and safe one.

Have fun and be safe.

Sir and kitten.

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