Humiliation sounds terrible and is a contentious issue but done right it can be exciting to some submissives. It can also be fun.
Mild forms of humiliation such as:-
- Being made to stand or sit in the corner naked as discipline. It can be for an hour or more and you feel so embarrassed.
- Inspections of the genitals. This is something a Dominant might do to you to find out if you are wet/or have an erection. They also do it to ensure you have obeyed rules such as not wearing panties or a bra.
- Touching you in a sexual way when in public.
- Asking you to wear clothing that is not normal for you, like an ultra short skirt.
- Posing. Having you sit or lay when naked in certain submissive poses.
- Wearing clothing that is highly sexual.
- Asking you to hold his penis while he urinates (while at home).
More intense humiliation comes in many forms.
- Using bondage that exposes your genitals completely and you are unable to move. You might be told that someone might pop around and find you in these poses. It is a concept to humiliate you, not to put you in any danger.
- Have you sit in a submissive pose and naked in front of a window.
- Making you walk around the home naked.
- If you live in a home with a balcony up from the ground floor you might be asked to remove your panties and they might play with you or actually fuck you on it.
- Asking you to wear a butt plug. (If you have never tried one start small and I promise it is quite pleasurable.)
- If you are called a kitten you maybe asked to lap up milk from a bowl and even to wear kitten ears and a tail. The tail is held in place with a butt plug.
- You can be asked to perform sexual acts in the car, in public or a car park.
- During sex your Dom might call you a slut, a whore or a needy cunt. (Sorry guys I don’t know what they might call you but use your imagination) He/she might also get aroused when YOU tell him that is what you are. These things should not be used all the time but during times of a scene. The exception being if you like being called names.
- Being made to crawl to your Dom, or crawl like a dog or cat.
- Horse play where you wear hoofs, a head mask or wearing of bit. Having to have a saddle and a tail.
- If it happens outside the scene, speak to your Dom if it bothers you. The Dom must not put you down like that or it can become verbal abuse. DO NOT ACCEPT IT.
Extreme forms of humiliation are sometimes used and both women and men enjoy it. It is just not my thing but I will list a few things I have seen.
- Writing derogatory terms on your body.
- Spitting on your face or in your mouth
- Peeing on your body or expecting you to drink it.
- Licking out toilets.
- Attacking your pride in being a woman and reduce you to three holes to fuck (two for gentlemen.
- Using equipment to keep your mouth open.
- Wearing nappies (age play)
I think I have given you some idea what to expect. It can get much worse. These things can be enjoyed by lots of people and I think it is up to each person to decide. I will leave it up to all of you to decide what is best for yourself. If there is an aversion to any of these things make sure they are in your soft and hard limits.
There is a special type of humiliation that is used for gentlemen. It usually involves Female Tops but can also involve Male Tops. It is called sissifying and it comes in varying degrees. In mild forms it can be a simple thing of wearing women’s under cloths, possibly to work. The clothes will be covered by their normal outerwear. The more extreme forms is where the top dresses the bottom in full women’s clothes, make up and even a wig. The humiliation can come in varying degrees too from name calling to taking photographs and putting them on display. If you enjoy this then talk together and set out your guidelines for this type of scene. Also for gentlemen the top can be quite insulting in the size of your cock.
Nothing in BDSM should make you feel less than the wonderful person you are so keep that in your mind always. BDSM should come from a base of respect or love. Both if you are very lucky like me.
The whole point to this is it must be taken in context used during a scene. If the insults and name calling become destructive please talk about it or if you can’t talk about it then for your mental health walk away. No one has the right to put you down.
No matter what words we use in a scene, S. always treats me like a lady outside of scenes. If he were to not do that I would soon let him know that he had hurt or upset me.
Have fun and be safe
Sir and kitten